Name: Alvin
Age: 20
School: none
Education: none
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Ok got back my 3 A lvls results.. at least most of them... update
Math
P1: 71/100
P2: 84/100
total: 155/200 (77.5%)
Chemistry
P1: 29/40
P2: 38/60
P3: 60/100
P4: 37/50
total: 164/250 (65.6%)
Physics
P1: 32/60
P2: 61/90
P3: 66.5/110
P4: 21/34
P5: ?/16
total: ?/310 (around 60%)
Got A, B, C which is almost to my target. I believe I can acheive my target through studying hard and not blogging here.
Took class photo today, requested them to take with my phone.
Please do not try to spot me. Thanks.
"Just feeling so lonely.."
Rambled by kaSh at 5:03 pm
zzz I will get at most a C for Physics. No A, no B. Fuck. Went down to book a chalet for the class at the end of the year, will be on the 7th, 8th and 9th of Dec.. still got a long way to go but it sounds exciting...
and yeah, prom night table arrangements. This is where the headache of the day comes in. To give up one's sit and not to go to the prom just to make a perfect number 20 is not the solution. Bear that in mind Isabella Tsun. LoL well anyways we have it settled. A tedious things to do? Oh god.
Speaking about physics, let's see if you understand this, which is related to black holes.
The Euclidean path integral over all topologically trivial metrics can be done by time slicing and so is unitary when analytically continued to the Lorentzian. On the other hand, the path integral over all topologically non-trivial metrics is asymptotically independent of the initial state. Thus the total path integral is unitary and information is not lost in the formation and evaporation of black holes. The way the information gets out seems to be that a true event horizon never forms, just an apparent horizon.
I mean WTF is he talking about? Holy crap complicated yet interesting, something said by Stephen Hawkings, the Lucasiaan Professor of Mathematics in Cambridge University.
A lvls is 36 days away and I've realised I have not improved on my physics (and most probably Chem) at all. Oh man, at this rate on what I am doing I will not be able to get my distinctions, plus more and more distractions coming in... I mean, oh well guess I have to really force myself to study and stop typing at this computer and put things aside first and tell myself that A lvls is the top top top priority now.
Oh by the way, The Lucasian Professor of Mathematics was held by our world famous Isaac Newton 400 years ago.
"This is not me. I ain't like this. Crap."
Rambled by kaSh at 6:14 pm
Got back some of my papers for today. Yeah.
Math:
Paper1 - 71/100
Paper2 - 84/100
Overall - 77.5/100
Physics
Paper3 - 66.5/110
Paper4 - 21/34
Gonna work damn fucking hard for physics.... argh... and chem... last practical today and I was still fooling around... goddamnit...
Why am I still so soft-hearted? Haiz... oh well... maybe my words were a little to harsh... maybe I am a little straightforward now... nevermind... you don't know how much vengeance I have in there, I am just trying to get rid of it... bear with me please...
"How am I suppose to do it over with everything, to start everything again?"
Rambled by kaSh at 7:46 pm
What a sad day today. Accompanied Zeqi to Kembangan to view a bicycle that he was so excited on getting it the nights before, however to his disappointment the bike wasn't good for him; conditions 1/10, looks 1/10.... and ended up not buying anything and took the train home. sad.
Noooooooo! School resumes tomorrow. Sucks. I don't wanna go to school. Goddamnit.
Interested in black holes? Go to here.
"To every action there will be a reaction and they act on two different bodies." Newton
Rambled by kaSh at 8:35 pm
And yeah forgot to mention that my prelims is over... not gonna rejoice because I am getting back my results this week. Crap. I don't really care as mentioned before.. most importantly one must learn from his mistakes... the failure is not falling down but to stay there... so when you fall, please get up, stand on your two feet and walk on..
Sometimes it's hard to get up. Really hard. Sometimes you have support and sometimes you don't. It's not a matter of whether you have it or not, most importantly you must fucking stand up.
I can't. I just can't get over it. No one knows how much have I teared inside my heart. No one knows how much it hurts. It hurts so damn badly. Don't try to say you understand because you don't. The reason why I am sitting here not doing anything because I see weak flames of friendship burning... as much as I wanna rekindle it, I can't. I just can't seem to get over it. The feeling sucks. The feeling sucks when you wanna tell the other person and she doesn't give a damn. The feeling sucks when you are the only one facing this shiet. The feeling sucks when no one's able to understand what you have been through. Yeah. Live on with life. That's what I always tell myself.
I always tell myself don't care, don't let all these shiet affect myself, don't care don't care. YEAH FUCK IT. It has been really long since I don't care. I can't get myself not to care and not to think. If only my brain is separated into a million parts when I can choose not to care about some things I shouldn't be.
Why am I telling you all these? You all just don't fucking understand.
"An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind."
Rambled by kaSh at 2:46 am
Physics Design was crap. The coefficient of friction is given by u = a/g. Cool. Why didn't I know that? lol.. don't care.
Yeah woke up quite early today, went jamming. quite screwed up lah, didn't have much practice though... so must practice next time before going.
- McFly - Obviously
- Hoobastank - The Reason
- The Calling - Wherever you will go
- Linkin Park - Numb
- Jet - Look what you've Done
- 3 Doors Down - Here Without You
- Busted - Sleeping With the Lights On
Yeah that's about it.. then went to play basketball... This mothefucking cb blue shirt guy keeps following me wherever I go, and push me... knn.. you lucky I didn't get the ball only or else I make sure you drop on the floor. __ you
Ok relac. Time to take a nap. I am a bloodly pig. Lazy shiet. Bite me.
Rambled by kaSh at 5:09 pm
Cycled to East Coast, then LPS, then back to East Coast, then home. Clocked 54.45km. Slept at 4, then woke up at 2pm and guess what, I went back to sleep at 5 again until 7. What to do, I have no life, no one asks me out and such, so sleeping is the best way to waste my afternoon. Afternoon is boring anyways..
Yeah got up at 7 and searched for the entire house for food. Goddamnit, I do not have any in my house so I have to get my ass outta the house and buy some cup noodles. And guess what, I used the microwave oven to cook my cup noodles instead of the old traditional way of using hot boiling water... That's a cool way try it if you have the time..
Speaking of microwave oven, do you know how it works? Many of us this that the heat generated from the oven heats up the whole food, well we are wrong. In fact the microwaves emitted has the same frequency as the natural frequency of the water molecules in the food. Thus the water molecules will oscillate vigorously and resonance occurs. The tremendous gain in kinetic energy rises the temperature so quickly and thus heat up the food.
Technical eh? Oh well, just some information for you guys so if you do not like it you can fuck off.. yeah
And why is it dangerous to leave the oven door oven when it's operating? Microwaves emitted and strong enough to penerate your body and to cause the water molecules to resonate in your body. One of the richest in water organs are the kidneys, which the microwaves emitted will literally cook your kidney, and you will fucking die.
Amazing eh? Well sometimes things which happens around us are amzing, and most, if not all, follows certain laws of nature.. For instance, action and reaction follow Newton's crap, some air thingy follows Bernoulli's crap, and this that this that... However if such laws aren't found, will our technology be so advanced as it is now? Computer parts such as the harddisk are created and processed using quantum physics. Information is stored as electrons and photons and are transmitted at high speeds.. cool eh?
Just some thoughts.. ever wonder why we exist? Ever wonder why time only flows forward but not the other way round? How does this world started?
Theories suggest that space is a function of time, ie they are dependent on one another. Mass, is a region of concentrated space (Theory of Ubiquity) and in the presence of concentrated space, time warps around, ie speeds up or slows down.
Yeah then again if you aren't interested you can leave no one's stopping you.
Why time only flows forward then? No one really knows the answer, but there are some laws which are written and suggested that time only flows forward. The 2nd law of thermodynamics states that the arrow of time only points forward, ie the entropy of a system always tend to an increase, thus if time flows backward it will be violating the 2nd law of thermodynamics. Don't worry if you do not know what the hell am I talking about, just for your info.
What is the difference between a particulate and a wave? Wave is a continous motion whereas particles are discrete. How would anyone ever thought of combining these two properties together to give rise another field called quantum physics? Clever eh? Waves can be quantised into discrete energy, so what about time? Time also can be quantised, but it's only a theory. Let's hope someone will find someway to quantise time then.
But then again it all breaks down to a common question: Why are we here? Nature? Maybe. God? Maybe. Oh well, just can't get some things off my mind....
Yeah, if you are still reading, I am thankful that you are interested in what I am talking about, although it sounds a little abstract and some words have been used and such. I may not be an aspiring physicist but I've read up all these things and I've found it interesting so I would like to share my thoughts around. No offense meant, yeah but if you aren't interested and you don't give a fuck, you can leave.
I woke up at 4 in the morning today, the hell am I thinking? Physics design is later, hope it will be easy.
"I know you care, but it just doesn't go the way I want it to be. At this point of time, I just wanna say, I still do, but maybe you don't really 'care' if I do, because to you, I am just someone who walks into your life, creates a mess outta it, and leaves with a scar which can never be cured. I hope to find a cure to that."
Rambled by kaSh at 4:33 am
SMS :1070 since 29th Aug
Distance travelled: 218.5 km since 6th Aug on bike.
Just wanna record down, no offense meant. But if you do not like it, please fuck off thanks.
Math 2 was crap. I don't know how to do statistics so I fucked up on mechanics.. either way I screwed up everything. Prelims will be a major flop, I will get results which I will not expect.. that sucks. I must really work hard...
Fuck. I regretted dropping F Math. Yeah F Math people, shout at me and bite me. I fucking regret so burn me if you all want. Fuck it. I should have stayed. I dropped for a stupid fucked up reason which I don't think it's fucking worth it at all, and yet I think it was all along. FUCK!
Goddamnit. Have not been sleeping well for these past few days. Shiet. Wasted my day and night, sitting there stoning and not fucking studying when I have 43 more days to the big shiet called A levels. Why the hell do I still feel so hurt?
I still can't get over with. My trust has been betrayed. Ok maybe for you guys who are reading right now says "big deal". Now I tell you, maybe to you, it isn't a fucking deal but to me, it is. Never had I trusted someone so much before only knowing that I have been betrayed. Fuck. For those who think that I DON'T GIVE A FUCK or whatever attitude SO THE BIG FUCK WHAT, go away. You just don't fucking understand how I feel. Never you will. Yeah, don't care is the key, fuck off.
I am trying to relax now, blame me, say me stubborn, say I am the biggest asshole in the world, talk behind my back, fuck me upside down, I DONT FUCKING CARE.
Thanks.
"time to have fun."
Rambled by kaSh at 6:48 am
Holy shiet.. I have not been studying since Wed... so I thought I could study today... goddamnit... I played sacred for 7 to 8 hours straight.. crap...
Prelim's gonna be over, but the best part is the results! Crap I am gonna screw up everything. Who cares man... zzzz this is my life I choose my fate..
Crap. What am I doing here? I have nothing to write...
Rambled by kaSh at 10:32 pm
Before the end of this chapter, I would like to say something to people who read this blog.
Rambled by kaSh at 4:05 pm
Yesterday's physics was a screwed up. Paper 1: 20 min. Slept for 40 min. I don't care. Paper 2: 45min. Slept for 1 hour. I don't fucking care.
Quarreled with her. Big big big big big big big big big fight. Too bad. It was as if the world was coming to and end.
The night before I can't sleep. Went cycling to find my friends, talked rubbish and such... cool... Maybe because I am the only child, so I need some people to confide my problems to. These are the people I trust most. I confide my problems to them coz I treat them like my brothers. I would choose friendship, simple because I don't have any siblings. I don't have brotherly or sisterly or whateverly love you guys out there will enjoy. Sometimes I feel lonely at home. I tried telling my problems to my parents, but it doesn't really seem to work....
Oh yeah, and another thing. I just found out that my level of patience have decreased significantly. Gonna find them back again. yeah bear with me please...
I am gonna clear my mind with all the shiet I have taken in and given out for these past 2 months.
"When a chapter's coming to an end, a new chapter begins.."
Rambled by kaSh at 4:03 am
Rambled by kaSh at 5:47 pm
Fuck. I have slacked enough. Even Math I also dont know how to do. Believe that. Physics? Cool I love it. I hope that I wrote the correct things... god bless me...
And yeah, a few words of advises for you mofos who were trying to study LAST MIN for O or A lvls.. believe that, you can do it during O lvls, but you can't during A. I choose not to believe it at first, but trust me, you can't.
Try sleeping for the first 10 minutes and you will suffer for the rest of the paper.
If you are friggin weak, drink red bull. The high concentration of glucose stimulates your brain. DONT DRINK TOO MUCH. You will fucking get diabetes.
And last but not least, if you don't believe any of the words above, plesae fuck off.
"I can't sleep when I feel that you aren't around with me.."
Rambled by kaSh at 8:13 pm
Just come back from GP and Chem paper 3 prelims. Guess what? I fucked the whole thing up. I WAS SO FUCKING DULAN WITH CHEM ESPECIALLY. I cannot believe that I can't do. I lack of practise, too little... and GP, holy shiet if I pass GP it will be a fucking miracle.
EXAM SUCKS. SCHOOL SUCKS. CHEM SUCKS. GP SUCKS.
I DONT FUCKING BELIEVE I AM THAT STUPID. I WILL COME BACK. MARK MY WORDS!
Rambled by kaSh at 4:46 pm
I thought I could wake up at 10 but due to some unforseen circumstances I woke up at 11.... and guess what? I studied studied studied all the way till 3, and went to sleep till 5, then studied again... I am just taking a break...
Oh well my brain's gonna burst and it will explode in no time.... CHEMISTRY! GENERAL PAPER! ARGH SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!
Rambled by kaSh at 7:49 pm
Friday:
Went back to school to study again, found out that I had wasted my goddamn time AGAIN.... then to the hospital... nothing's wrong in my lungs so that's cool life will go on for me... Oh before that, making use of technology to satisfy our basic needs... since I can't photocopy the questions and answers for chemistry of other schools, I took down as photos into my phone... hehehe
Came home, rested and went down to my cousin's shop to make a frameless specs... goddamnit she said it will be really thick due to my asigmatism and this and that and this and that oh crap... so was still thinking if I should get them or not..
Went to meet Terence and Holly for dinner... ate and talked rubbish... then went home.. ok that's all.... dull life..
Today:
I left 2 more days to prelims and I've found out that I didn't know alot of things.. I am gonna get it man.... felt really unwell for these past few days... not myself.. too stressed? I don't feel the stress... oh well.. back to the books..
Slept at 230... and woke up, went down to get apples and oranges... ok I suck at picking at them coz it was the first time in my life... then went down to meet her, passed the fruits to her... haha... zzz and guess what? I did not study anything for today. ABSOLUTELY nothing. I am so gonna die. Wish me luck, I need lotsa it.
"Running on 2 wheels chasing you..."
Rambled by kaSh at 1:01 pm
How was it? Oh btw here are some updates..
Went to mediacorp on tues, it was fun, but it made up wait till so fucking long... goddamnit.. recording was more than an hour and a half.. and I had fun there... went supper after that... yeah... it was fun...
Stayed at home on Wed, studied a little... was so bored... zzz nothing much..
Today, went for breakfast with Holly, then went to school to study a little on Physics and Chem... and yeah went to eat lunch then went back again and then went to play basketball and I had blisters on my feet... went for bubble tea, then came home... nothing amusing and fun..
Oh yeah I am suppose to collect some notes from Merry... can't make it on Wed coz you were sick, I had severe blisters now... so... erm tomorrow ok? Take care....
"The days I missed you most were the days I don't get to see you..."
Rambled by kaSh at 9:09 pm
"Holidays are here, but it's not a holiday for me... Went cycling yesterday night, which was also considered this morning... sat at Pasir Ris beach and talk rubbish... then went to eat.. then came home and slept at 3 something..
Oh came back from school, went to study there.. Glad that I did something productive which I don't usually.. but unfortunately I was caught up with flu... was too cold there.. shiet.. I dont wanna get sick.. haiz...
Gonna mug more...
"When something isn't your type, it doesn't mean it will not work your way. You just have to try it to know it..."
Rambled by kaSh at 3:47 pm
Ok this is the 3rd post within a day.. I should be studying right?? Anyways got my MMC reader and uploaded some of the photos I've taken with my handphone here.. Scroll down for more details on what I've written below for my other posts =)
Rambled by kaSh at 1:49 pm
TRUST is a very important factor for all relationships. When trust is broken, it is the end of the relationship. Lack of trust leads to suspicion, suspicion generates anger, anger causes enmity and enmity may result in separation.
A telephone operator told me that one day she received a phone call. She answered, "Public Utilities Board." There was silence. She repeated, "PUB." There was still no answer. When she was going to cut off the line, she heard a lady's voice, "Oh, so this is PUB. Sorry, I got the number from my Husband's pocket but I do not know whose number it is." Without mutual trust, just imagine what will happen to the couple if the telephone operator answered with just "hello" instead of "PUB".
NO POINTING FINGERS
A man asked his father-in-law, "Many people praised you for a successful marriage. Could you please share with me your secret?" The father-in-law answered in a smile, "Never criticise your wife for her shortcomings or when she does something wrong. Always bear in mind that because of her shortcomings and weaknesses, she could not find a better husband than you." >We all look forward to being loved and respected. Many people are afraid of losing face. Generally, when a person makes a mistake, he would look around to find a scapegoat to point the finger at. This is the start of a war. We should always remember that when we >point one finger at a person, the other four fingers are pointing at ourselves. If we forgive others, others will ignore our mistake too.
NO OVERPOWERING
Many relationships fail because one party tries to overpower another, or demands too much. People in love tend to think that love will conquer all and their spouses will change the bad habits after marriage. Actually, this is not the case. There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that "It is easier to reshape a mountain or a river than a person's character." It is not easy to change. Thus, having high expectation on changing the spouse character will cause disappointment and unpleasantness. It would be less painful to change ourselves and lower our expectations..
RIGHT SPEECH
There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that "A speech will either prosper or ruin a nation." Many relationships break off because of wrong speech. When a couple is too close with each other, we always forget mutual respect and courtesy. We may say anything without considering if it would hurt the other party. A friend and her millionaire husband visited their construction site. A worker who wore a helmet saw her and shouted, "Hi, Emily! >Remember me? We used to date in the secondary school." On the way home, her millionaire husband teased her, "Luckily you married me. Otherwise you will be the wife of a construction worker." She answered, "You should appreciate that you married me. Otherwise, he will be the millionaire and not you." Frequently exchanging these remarks plants the seed for a bad relationship.
PERSONAL PERCEPTION
Different people have different perception. One man's meat could be another man's poison. A couple bought a donkey from the market. On the way home, a boy commented, "Very stupid. Why neither of them ride on the donkey?" Upon hearing that, the husband let the wife ride on the donkey. He walked besides them. Later, an old man saw it and commented, "The husband is the head of family. How can the wife ride on the donkey while the husband is on foot?" Hearing this, the wife quickly got down and let the husband ride on the donkey. Further on the way home, they met an old Lady. She commented, "How can the man ride on the donkey but let the wife walk. He is no gentleman." The husband thus quickly asked the wife to join him on the donkey. Then, they met a young man. He commented, "Poor donkey, how can you hold up the weight of two persons. They are cruel to you." Hearing that, the husband and wife immediately climbed down from the donkey and carried it on their shoulders. It seems to be the only choice left. Later, on a narrow bridge, the donkey was frightened and struggled. They lost their balance and fell into the river. You can never have everyone praise you, nor will everyone condemn you. Never in the past, not at present, and never will be in the future. Thus, do not be too bothered by others words if our conscience is clear..
BE PATIENT
This is a true story which happened in the States. A man came out of his home to admire his new truck. To his puzzlement, his three-year-old son was happily hammering dents into the shiny paint of the truck. The man ran to his son, knocked him away, hammered the little boy's >hands into pulp as punishment. When the father calmed down, he rushed his son to the hospital. Although the doctor tried desperately to save the crushed bones, he finally had to amputate the fingers from both the boy's hands. When the boy woke up from the surgery & saw his bandaged stubs, he innocently said, " Daddy, I'm sorry about your truck." Then he asked, "but when are my fingers going to grow back?" The father went home & committed suicide. Think about this story the next time someone steps on your feet or u wish to take revenge. Think first before u lose your patience with someone u love. Trucks can be repaired.. Broken bones & hurt feelings often can't. Too often we fail to recognise the difference between the person and the performance. We forget that forgiveness is greater than revenge. People make mistakes. We are allowed to make mistakes. But the actions we take while in a rage will haunt us forever. Pause and ponder. Think before you act. Be patient. Forgive & forget. Love one and all. If you judge people, you have no time to love them.
Do you have them all? Think through...
"I think I should begin to 'trust' you..."
Rambled by kaSh at 1:35 pm
Ok then why do it then? Some are the reasons were 1) That person is really stupid and dumb. 2) That person has absolutely nothing to do. 3) That person wants to exercise on bike. 4) He just does not have anything better to do.
Ok crucial point, my point of view. It is fucking stupid. That person's outta his mind to do that and by doing so, the other even told him off... she said "I didn't call you to pass me the papers now what." Cool so he got told off, he travelled far, passed the paper, and got fucking told off.
Ok the next thing is, and the question is, why would anyone in the right mind do something like this? Ok it breaks down to a few reasons again. 1) He still has absolutely nothing to do. 2) He thinks it's fucking funny. 3) He thinks travelling on two wheels is more fun than on 4 (bus) or dozens (the goddamn train).
Now firstly, let's compare who is the more stubborn one. Let's name the faggot who travelled A and the person who received the shiet, B. A says meet at point X, B did not want or rather, point Y which is nearer to her house, or point Z, which is in between the two. Point X was easily accessible for A, so of course you will insist of meeting at X. So no conclusion was reached, and the day of meeting was pushed forward to the previous day morning. A couldn't wake up, B knows it, but insisted him to wake up. So again, no conclusion was reached... oh wait, there is, B said she doesn't want to papers anymore, obviously giving that tone which she wants it and knows that A WILL definately return by having B's way, so she was trying to use this technique called 'reverse psychology'.
In the end, A travelled to B's house. Back to first paragraph. Fuck it. So the question was, since B doesn't want the paper anymore, why did she take from A? Give me a fucking reason.
You call that sacrifice? I call that wasting of time. Sacrifice A's time and energy, so B thinks it's fun especially her sentence "I didn't call you to come here what." If I was A I will give the middle finger.
BTW it happened near midnight. Think about it.
"Being a person doesn't only require you to open your eyes and ears wide, but your goddamn heart too. If you can't feel or don't give a fuck on what the other is thinking, you better wake up your fucking idea."
Rambled by kaSh at 1:34 am
Went cycling yesterday night... ok which was in the morning today... ok... while I was cycling I was on the phone with this friend... after that we sms-ed... she said I gave her attitude... hmm... do I really sound that I give attitude while I am talking?? Haiz...
Woke up with a severe headache, thought my head was gonna explode... luckily it didn't.. thank god... can't meet up with that friend... sorry... think you are disappointed or agitated or irritated... I know your style.... sorry...
Tell yourself that chemistry rocks, and you will put your 120% into that subject, and you will do well..
BTW there are basically 3 kinds of people around us. 1) Dumb but hardworking. 2) Intelligent but lazy. 3) Intelligent and hardworking. Which one are you categorised in?
All in all, everything that is determined, is determined by your attitude... your perserverence till the end...
"Your attitude determines your altitude.."
Rambled by kaSh at 1:08 pm
Friday marks the end of the day of the term... yeah... cool in the sense that we do not have to go to school for 1 week... but wait, that doesn't spell fun... it spells the upcoming big event which everyone in the college fears, which everyone stresses out over it.. it is called The Preliminary Examinations.... it starts on the 13th Sept...
Took my napfa again this morning, ok I passed... cool no need to go for the extra 2 months in NS... shiok can slack at home for 2 months after A lvl... basically I camped in the library not doing anything for the past few hours until 12.... oh yeah, I went for lunch in the canteen with a friend.... ok her.... ok a friend...
Oh I just remembered something.. I dedicated a song through perfect 10 on Wed or Thurs.. to bad no one heard it... She read as "to 03s19 of TPJC, work hard for your prelims!" Oh well, since my class didnt hear it, must as well write it here, let you all know.... and that's not the only thing I had said, I had said somemore... oh well.. dedicated that too you too, too bad they didnt read out, perhaps they dont know what the hell am I typing....
Chemistry.... OMG... Mrs Lee doesn't really wanna talk to me in class... Ok lah I admit sometimes I really ask stupid questions and irritate the whole class, but sometimes I ask serious questions which they think I am joking, for instance, what's a labile proton? I don't believe it's defination is only a proton attached to an O group.... zzz then tio suan by Merry...
I asked Mrs Lee if she will be coming back during the Sept holidays so I can consult her for chem, she said no... OMG.. she thought I was joking with her and such until I said that in a serious tone asking her how should I contact her and such... Oh well...
Went to the general office, saw Mrs Lee again.... well she told me some words which I deemed she has some expectations held within me.... "You are able to do it, you no need my help." You are always consistent in your work, it's just that you are lazy at times." No no, not in a sarcastic manner... from her tone she meant that she had some expectations in me, she expect me to get as least something good for chem....
I hope I'll not disappoint her. I hope I'll not disappoint myself...
Holidays are here, whilst everyone is in the holiday mood, our college isn't... I am not, and I will not be.. I will study hard. I AM COMING PHEAR ME!
BTW, the first paper is GP and Chemistry Paper 3. Goddamnit.
"Perservre and you will see the fruits of your labour..."
Rambled by kaSh at 6:02 pm
Met up with the girls for breakfast... yeah macdonalds' again...... zzzzzzz... Ok we got locked up for 2 hours and 45 minutes and I did absolutely nothing in there...
Ok chem prac... had 3 experiments to do.. I've got an average of 20.625 for my titration value which differ from others by ALOT. How??? Haiz.. And the ammonia stinks... zzz stinks like crazy my nose was really itchy at that time...
Ok, I should be able to pass my chem... but that's not enough, guess I have to work hard for my written work...
I stained my hand with potassium manganate (VII)!!! Argh brown colour all over...
Holidays are coming soon, and after that it will be the prelims... frankly speaking, I kinda missed the lessons I had last time... those making fun of teachers and such in the class, sleeping, eating... and I foresee this will not happen anymore in the future... haiz... cherish these good times before they are gona forever....
The thing that I will miss most is you.... the moments that you always be by my side, for every single period of tutorial, asking and replying questions, laughing throughout the lesson, or just simply keeping quiet on your chair, in deep thought of course... Enjoyed the silence... some things are just meant left to be unsaid, unheard and untouched...
I will miss your smile, your laughter, your silliness, your clumsiness.. there were times I say things which weren't what I mean, sometimes you know, sometimes you don't... so I just hope that you understand that even though I say things which aren't you, I don't mean that way... you are the best among all...
There were also times which things go rough, really rough and that made us really sad... just because things blew up and affected most of our moods... for that, I would like to apologise again... Just wanna let you know, I don't want you to be that way, sometimes I am out of control...
All I want you to be is happy, cheerful... however, we are human beings. Negative emotions such as sadness, anger dwell upon us for the past ten thousand years; nothing has changed... However we can reduce them, and I hope that I have reduced them for you....
Last but not least, you are someone special and unique, someone special and unique to me. I would like to say that I cherish you every single bit, I am really thankful for you entering into my life, getting to know someone so special like you, created and solved problems over you and best of all, to cherish you....
Rambled by kaSh at 5:32 pm
As the title speaks, control is the key... if you are able to control the game, you are most likely to win.. if you are able to control things from within, you will not be afraid of things without... if you are able to control your emotions, your temper, you will appear more calm than the others...
The problem is, I can't control. I can't control my game, I can't control my emotions... haiz...
Rambled by kaSh at 6:01 pm
Yeah I studied a little, sat there and do math for 3 hours... scared or not??
Today?? Goddamnit I am wasting my time idling here again.. and blogging.. what's this? Prelim's 13 days away and A lvl's 63... Seriously I am screwed. I didn't know where to start studying from... goddamnit..
Chem prac's tomorrow, and my practical reports are scattered around the house... so in conclusion, I can't study for it.. So tomorrow' prac, I will just depend on my luck then...
Ever seen some stupid arrangements whereby you report at 1115 and the practical starts at 2pm? Goddamnit, that's my school.. what are they trying to do??
"How long will it take to travel down this endless journey?? It's already endless, and it will be eternity..."
Rambled by kaSh at 2:30 pm
Math
P1: 71/100
P2: 84/100
total: 155/200 (77.5%)
Chemistry
P1: 29/40
P2: 38/60
P3: 60/100
P4: 37/50
total: 164/250 (65.6%)
Physics
P1: 32/60
P2: 61/90
P3: 66.5/110
P4: 21/34
P5: ?/16
total: ?/310 (around 60%)
Got A, B, C which is almost to my target. I believe I can acheive my target through studying hard and not blogging here.
Took class photo today, requested them to take with my phone.
Please do not try to spot me. Thanks.
"Just feeling so lonely.."
Rambled by kaSh at 5:03 pm
zzz I will get at most a C for Physics. No A, no B. Fuck. Went down to book a chalet for the class at the end of the year, will be on the 7th, 8th and 9th of Dec.. still got a long way to go but it sounds exciting...
and yeah, prom night table arrangements. This is where the headache of the day comes in. To give up one's sit and not to go to the prom just to make a perfect number 20 is not the solution. Bear that in mind Isabella Tsun. LoL well anyways we have it settled. A tedious things to do? Oh god.
Speaking about physics, let's see if you understand this, which is related to black holes.
The Euclidean path integral over all topologically trivial metrics can be done by time slicing and so is unitary when analytically continued to the Lorentzian. On the other hand, the path integral over all topologically non-trivial metrics is asymptotically independent of the initial state. Thus the total path integral is unitary and information is not lost in the formation and evaporation of black holes. The way the information gets out seems to be that a true event horizon never forms, just an apparent horizon.
I mean WTF is he talking about? Holy crap complicated yet interesting, something said by Stephen Hawkings, the Lucasiaan Professor of Mathematics in Cambridge University.
A lvls is 36 days away and I've realised I have not improved on my physics (and most probably Chem) at all. Oh man, at this rate on what I am doing I will not be able to get my distinctions, plus more and more distractions coming in... I mean, oh well guess I have to really force myself to study and stop typing at this computer and put things aside first and tell myself that A lvls is the top top top priority now.
Oh by the way, The Lucasian Professor of Mathematics was held by our world famous Isaac Newton 400 years ago.
"This is not me. I ain't like this. Crap."
Rambled by kaSh at 6:14 pm
Got back some of my papers for today. Yeah.
Math:
Paper1 - 71/100
Paper2 - 84/100
Overall - 77.5/100
Physics
Paper3 - 66.5/110
Paper4 - 21/34
Gonna work damn fucking hard for physics.... argh... and chem... last practical today and I was still fooling around... goddamnit...
Why am I still so soft-hearted? Haiz... oh well... maybe my words were a little to harsh... maybe I am a little straightforward now... nevermind... you don't know how much vengeance I have in there, I am just trying to get rid of it... bear with me please...
"How am I suppose to do it over with everything, to start everything again?"
Rambled by kaSh at 7:46 pm
What a sad day today. Accompanied Zeqi to Kembangan to view a bicycle that he was so excited on getting it the nights before, however to his disappointment the bike wasn't good for him; conditions 1/10, looks 1/10.... and ended up not buying anything and took the train home. sad.
Noooooooo! School resumes tomorrow. Sucks. I don't wanna go to school. Goddamnit.
Interested in black holes? Go to here.
"To every action there will be a reaction and they act on two different bodies." Newton
Rambled by kaSh at 8:35 pm
As mentioned earlier on by my friend, my blog isn't interesting at all because it doesn't contain my love life. Hmm... why must I write my love life when I don't have one?? Quite unrealistic right? So I wrote crap like how the microwave oven works and my fucked up daily life of sleeping throughout the afternoon and crap..
And yeah forgot to mention that my prelims is over... not gonna rejoice because I am getting back my results this week. Crap. I don't really care as mentioned before.. most importantly one must learn from his mistakes... the failure is not falling down but to stay there... so when you fall, please get up, stand on your two feet and walk on..
Sometimes it's hard to get up. Really hard. Sometimes you have support and sometimes you don't. It's not a matter of whether you have it or not, most importantly you must fucking stand up.
I can't. I just can't get over it. No one knows how much have I teared inside my heart. No one knows how much it hurts. It hurts so damn badly. Don't try to say you understand because you don't. The reason why I am sitting here not doing anything because I see weak flames of friendship burning... as much as I wanna rekindle it, I can't. I just can't seem to get over it. The feeling sucks. The feeling sucks when you wanna tell the other person and she doesn't give a damn. The feeling sucks when you are the only one facing this shiet. The feeling sucks when no one's able to understand what you have been through. Yeah. Live on with life. That's what I always tell myself.
I always tell myself don't care, don't let all these shiet affect myself, don't care don't care. YEAH FUCK IT. It has been really long since I don't care. I can't get myself not to care and not to think. If only my brain is separated into a million parts when I can choose not to care about some things I shouldn't be.
Why am I telling you all these? You all just don't fucking understand.
"An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind."
Rambled by kaSh at 2:46 am
Physics Design was crap. The coefficient of friction is given by u = a/g. Cool. Why didn't I know that? lol.. don't care.
Yeah woke up quite early today, went jamming. quite screwed up lah, didn't have much practice though... so must practice next time before going.
- McFly - Obviously
- Hoobastank - The Reason
- The Calling - Wherever you will go
- Linkin Park - Numb
- Jet - Look what you've Done
- 3 Doors Down - Here Without You
- Busted - Sleeping With the Lights On
Yeah that's about it.. then went to play basketball... This mothefucking cb blue shirt guy keeps following me wherever I go, and push me... knn.. you lucky I didn't get the ball only or else I make sure you drop on the floor. __ you
Ok relac. Time to take a nap. I am a bloodly pig. Lazy shiet. Bite me.
Rambled by kaSh at 5:09 pm
Cycled to East Coast, then LPS, then back to East Coast, then home. Clocked 54.45km. Slept at 4, then woke up at 2pm and guess what, I went back to sleep at 5 again until 7. What to do, I have no life, no one asks me out and such, so sleeping is the best way to waste my afternoon. Afternoon is boring anyways..
Yeah got up at 7 and searched for the entire house for food. Goddamnit, I do not have any in my house so I have to get my ass outta the house and buy some cup noodles. And guess what, I used the microwave oven to cook my cup noodles instead of the old traditional way of using hot boiling water... That's a cool way try it if you have the time..
Speaking of microwave oven, do you know how it works? Many of us this that the heat generated from the oven heats up the whole food, well we are wrong. In fact the microwaves emitted has the same frequency as the natural frequency of the water molecules in the food. Thus the water molecules will oscillate vigorously and resonance occurs. The tremendous gain in kinetic energy rises the temperature so quickly and thus heat up the food.
Technical eh? Oh well, just some information for you guys so if you do not like it you can fuck off.. yeah
And why is it dangerous to leave the oven door oven when it's operating? Microwaves emitted and strong enough to penerate your body and to cause the water molecules to resonate in your body. One of the richest in water organs are the kidneys, which the microwaves emitted will literally cook your kidney, and you will fucking die.
Amazing eh? Well sometimes things which happens around us are amzing, and most, if not all, follows certain laws of nature.. For instance, action and reaction follow Newton's crap, some air thingy follows Bernoulli's crap, and this that this that... However if such laws aren't found, will our technology be so advanced as it is now? Computer parts such as the harddisk are created and processed using quantum physics. Information is stored as electrons and photons and are transmitted at high speeds.. cool eh?
Just some thoughts.. ever wonder why we exist? Ever wonder why time only flows forward but not the other way round? How does this world started?
Theories suggest that space is a function of time, ie they are dependent on one another. Mass, is a region of concentrated space (Theory of Ubiquity) and in the presence of concentrated space, time warps around, ie speeds up or slows down.
Yeah then again if you aren't interested you can leave no one's stopping you.
Why time only flows forward then? No one really knows the answer, but there are some laws which are written and suggested that time only flows forward. The 2nd law of thermodynamics states that the arrow of time only points forward, ie the entropy of a system always tend to an increase, thus if time flows backward it will be violating the 2nd law of thermodynamics. Don't worry if you do not know what the hell am I talking about, just for your info.
What is the difference between a particulate and a wave? Wave is a continous motion whereas particles are discrete. How would anyone ever thought of combining these two properties together to give rise another field called quantum physics? Clever eh? Waves can be quantised into discrete energy, so what about time? Time also can be quantised, but it's only a theory. Let's hope someone will find someway to quantise time then.
But then again it all breaks down to a common question: Why are we here? Nature? Maybe. God? Maybe. Oh well, just can't get some things off my mind....
Yeah, if you are still reading, I am thankful that you are interested in what I am talking about, although it sounds a little abstract and some words have been used and such. I may not be an aspiring physicist but I've read up all these things and I've found it interesting so I would like to share my thoughts around. No offense meant, yeah but if you aren't interested and you don't give a fuck, you can leave.
I woke up at 4 in the morning today, the hell am I thinking? Physics design is later, hope it will be easy.
"I know you care, but it just doesn't go the way I want it to be. At this point of time, I just wanna say, I still do, but maybe you don't really 'care' if I do, because to you, I am just someone who walks into your life, creates a mess outta it, and leaves with a scar which can never be cured. I hope to find a cure to that."
Rambled by kaSh at 4:33 am
SMS :1070 since 29th Aug
Distance travelled: 218.5 km since 6th Aug on bike.
Just wanna record down, no offense meant. But if you do not like it, please fuck off thanks.
Math 2 was crap. I don't know how to do statistics so I fucked up on mechanics.. either way I screwed up everything. Prelims will be a major flop, I will get results which I will not expect.. that sucks. I must really work hard...
Fuck. I regretted dropping F Math. Yeah F Math people, shout at me and bite me. I fucking regret so burn me if you all want. Fuck it. I should have stayed. I dropped for a stupid fucked up reason which I don't think it's fucking worth it at all, and yet I think it was all along. FUCK!
Goddamnit. Have not been sleeping well for these past few days. Shiet. Wasted my day and night, sitting there stoning and not fucking studying when I have 43 more days to the big shiet called A levels. Why the hell do I still feel so hurt?
I still can't get over with. My trust has been betrayed. Ok maybe for you guys who are reading right now says "big deal". Now I tell you, maybe to you, it isn't a fucking deal but to me, it is. Never had I trusted someone so much before only knowing that I have been betrayed. Fuck. For those who think that I DON'T GIVE A FUCK or whatever attitude SO THE BIG FUCK WHAT, go away. You just don't fucking understand how I feel. Never you will. Yeah, don't care is the key, fuck off.
I am trying to relax now, blame me, say me stubborn, say I am the biggest asshole in the world, talk behind my back, fuck me upside down, I DONT FUCKING CARE.
Thanks.
"time to have fun."
Rambled by kaSh at 6:48 am
Holy shiet.. I have not been studying since Wed... so I thought I could study today... goddamnit... I played sacred for 7 to 8 hours straight.. crap...
Prelim's gonna be over, but the best part is the results! Crap I am gonna screw up everything. Who cares man... zzzz this is my life I choose my fate..
Crap. What am I doing here? I have nothing to write...
Rambled by kaSh at 10:32 pm
Before the end of this chapter, I would like to say something to people who read this blog.
- Trust is a very difficult thing to achieve, and something which is easily lost.
- Friendship begins with trust.
- Friendship is something blessed to all you people out there. Cherish it.
- Often we take things for granted, and will only regret when we have lost them.
It isnt' easy for me walking along such path, in the process of looking who do I really trust and who I don't. Sometimes I doubt. Suspicion arises. Thats not trust.
I have learnt really valuable lessons in life, experiences which many of you will never be able to go through.
I put friendship and trust above all.
Thank you for your allowing me to experience such things with you, and I am sorry at the expense of your feelings.
Well, that marks the end of a chapter. Thank you very much Merry.
"Friends. They quarrel, the fight, the forgive and they forget... "
Rambled by kaSh at 4:05 pm
Clocked 25km this morning. Went cycling just immediately after meeting my friend for dinner... chiong night life...
Yesterday's physics was a screwed up. Paper 1: 20 min. Slept for 40 min. I don't care. Paper 2: 45min. Slept for 1 hour. I don't fucking care.
Quarreled with her. Big big big big big big big big big fight. Too bad. It was as if the world was coming to and end.
The night before I can't sleep. Went cycling to find my friends, talked rubbish and such... cool... Maybe because I am the only child, so I need some people to confide my problems to. These are the people I trust most. I confide my problems to them coz I treat them like my brothers. I would choose friendship, simple because I don't have any siblings. I don't have brotherly or sisterly or whateverly love you guys out there will enjoy. Sometimes I feel lonely at home. I tried telling my problems to my parents, but it doesn't really seem to work....
Oh yeah, and another thing. I just found out that my level of patience have decreased significantly. Gonna find them back again. yeah bear with me please...
I am gonna clear my mind with all the shiet I have taken in and given out for these past 2 months.
"When a chapter's coming to an end, a new chapter begins.."
Rambled by kaSh at 4:03 am
- Describe the trends of their 1st Ionisation Energy, melting point, electrical conductivity, atomic and ionic radius and what do you personally think of this fucked up elements which were found 10 000 years ago across Period 3.
- Explain why transition metals can form variable oxidation states and why they suppose to burn in hell.
- Draw a dot and cross diagram of a tetraaquacopper(II) ion and state the similarities and differences between the shape of this molecule and your ass.
- Explain why the reaction between bromine and sodium chloride is spontaneous whereas the reaction of you licking your elbow isn't.
- Last but not least, explain what will happen to your home if the moon stops orbiting the earth.
Chemistry is indeed a waste of time.
I dont like to ask questions on my homeworkd because I don't like to wait for answers. Goddamnit. I am such an asshole.. I will get sick and tired of waiting for answers. zzz
"Floating in my mind... when will you sink to the bottom of my heart?"
Rambled by kaSh at 5:47 pm
Fuck. I have slacked enough. Even Math I also dont know how to do. Believe that. Physics? Cool I love it. I hope that I wrote the correct things... god bless me...
And yeah, a few words of advises for you mofos who were trying to study LAST MIN for O or A lvls.. believe that, you can do it during O lvls, but you can't during A. I choose not to believe it at first, but trust me, you can't.
Try sleeping for the first 10 minutes and you will suffer for the rest of the paper.
If you are friggin weak, drink red bull. The high concentration of glucose stimulates your brain. DONT DRINK TOO MUCH. You will fucking get diabetes.
And last but not least, if you don't believe any of the words above, plesae fuck off.
"I can't sleep when I feel that you aren't around with me.."
Rambled by kaSh at 8:13 pm
Just come back from GP and Chem paper 3 prelims. Guess what? I fucked the whole thing up. I WAS SO FUCKING DULAN WITH CHEM ESPECIALLY. I cannot believe that I can't do. I lack of practise, too little... and GP, holy shiet if I pass GP it will be a fucking miracle.
EXAM SUCKS. SCHOOL SUCKS. CHEM SUCKS. GP SUCKS.
I DONT FUCKING BELIEVE I AM THAT STUPID. I WILL COME BACK. MARK MY WORDS!
Rambled by kaSh at 4:46 pm
I thought I could wake up at 10 but due to some unforseen circumstances I woke up at 11.... and guess what? I studied studied studied all the way till 3, and went to sleep till 5, then studied again... I am just taking a break...
Oh well my brain's gonna burst and it will explode in no time.... CHEMISTRY! GENERAL PAPER! ARGH SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!
Rambled by kaSh at 7:49 pm
Friday:
Went back to school to study again, found out that I had wasted my goddamn time AGAIN.... then to the hospital... nothing's wrong in my lungs so that's cool life will go on for me... Oh before that, making use of technology to satisfy our basic needs... since I can't photocopy the questions and answers for chemistry of other schools, I took down as photos into my phone... hehehe
Came home, rested and went down to my cousin's shop to make a frameless specs... goddamnit she said it will be really thick due to my asigmatism and this and that and this and that oh crap... so was still thinking if I should get them or not..
Went to meet Terence and Holly for dinner... ate and talked rubbish... then went home.. ok that's all.... dull life..
Today:
I left 2 more days to prelims and I've found out that I didn't know alot of things.. I am gonna get it man.... felt really unwell for these past few days... not myself.. too stressed? I don't feel the stress... oh well.. back to the books..
Slept at 230... and woke up, went down to get apples and oranges... ok I suck at picking at them coz it was the first time in my life... then went down to meet her, passed the fruits to her... haha... zzz and guess what? I did not study anything for today. ABSOLUTELY nothing. I am so gonna die. Wish me luck, I need lotsa it.
"Running on 2 wheels chasing you..."
Rambled by kaSh at 1:01 pm
How was it? Oh btw here are some updates..
Went to mediacorp on tues, it was fun, but it made up wait till so fucking long... goddamnit.. recording was more than an hour and a half.. and I had fun there... went supper after that... yeah... it was fun...
Stayed at home on Wed, studied a little... was so bored... zzz nothing much..
Today, went for breakfast with Holly, then went to school to study a little on Physics and Chem... and yeah went to eat lunch then went back again and then went to play basketball and I had blisters on my feet... went for bubble tea, then came home... nothing amusing and fun..
Oh yeah I am suppose to collect some notes from Merry... can't make it on Wed coz you were sick, I had severe blisters now... so... erm tomorrow ok? Take care....
"The days I missed you most were the days I don't get to see you..."
Rambled by kaSh at 9:09 pm
"Holidays are here, but it's not a holiday for me... Went cycling yesterday night, which was also considered this morning... sat at Pasir Ris beach and talk rubbish... then went to eat.. then came home and slept at 3 something..
Oh came back from school, went to study there.. Glad that I did something productive which I don't usually.. but unfortunately I was caught up with flu... was too cold there.. shiet.. I dont wanna get sick.. haiz...
Gonna mug more...
"When something isn't your type, it doesn't mean it will not work your way. You just have to try it to know it..."
Rambled by kaSh at 3:47 pm
Ok this is the 3rd post within a day.. I should be studying right?? Anyways got my MMC reader and uploaded some of the photos I've taken with my handphone here.. Scroll down for more details on what I've written below for my other posts =)
My dog!
This is my Chem teacher... with a serious look!
and my 1 month old bike...
Will post more if I have.. enjoy..
Rambled by kaSh at 1:49 pm
Got this email from Liwen.. it goes like this...
TRUST is a very important factor for all relationships. When trust is broken, it is the end of the relationship. Lack of trust leads to suspicion, suspicion generates anger, anger causes enmity and enmity may result in separation.
A telephone operator told me that one day she received a phone call. She answered, "Public Utilities Board." There was silence. She repeated, "PUB." There was still no answer. When she was going to cut off the line, she heard a lady's voice, "Oh, so this is PUB. Sorry, I got the number from my Husband's pocket but I do not know whose number it is." Without mutual trust, just imagine what will happen to the couple if the telephone operator answered with just "hello" instead of "PUB".
NO POINTING FINGERS
A man asked his father-in-law, "Many people praised you for a successful marriage. Could you please share with me your secret?" The father-in-law answered in a smile, "Never criticise your wife for her shortcomings or when she does something wrong. Always bear in mind that because of her shortcomings and weaknesses, she could not find a better husband than you." >We all look forward to being loved and respected. Many people are afraid of losing face. Generally, when a person makes a mistake, he would look around to find a scapegoat to point the finger at. This is the start of a war. We should always remember that when we >point one finger at a person, the other four fingers are pointing at ourselves. If we forgive others, others will ignore our mistake too.
NO OVERPOWERING
Many relationships fail because one party tries to overpower another, or demands too much. People in love tend to think that love will conquer all and their spouses will change the bad habits after marriage. Actually, this is not the case. There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that "It is easier to reshape a mountain or a river than a person's character." It is not easy to change. Thus, having high expectation on changing the spouse character will cause disappointment and unpleasantness. It would be less painful to change ourselves and lower our expectations..
RIGHT SPEECH
There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that "A speech will either prosper or ruin a nation." Many relationships break off because of wrong speech. When a couple is too close with each other, we always forget mutual respect and courtesy. We may say anything without considering if it would hurt the other party. A friend and her millionaire husband visited their construction site. A worker who wore a helmet saw her and shouted, "Hi, Emily! >Remember me? We used to date in the secondary school." On the way home, her millionaire husband teased her, "Luckily you married me. Otherwise you will be the wife of a construction worker." She answered, "You should appreciate that you married me. Otherwise, he will be the millionaire and not you." Frequently exchanging these remarks plants the seed for a bad relationship.
PERSONAL PERCEPTION
Different people have different perception. One man's meat could be another man's poison. A couple bought a donkey from the market. On the way home, a boy commented, "Very stupid. Why neither of them ride on the donkey?" Upon hearing that, the husband let the wife ride on the donkey. He walked besides them. Later, an old man saw it and commented, "The husband is the head of family. How can the wife ride on the donkey while the husband is on foot?" Hearing this, the wife quickly got down and let the husband ride on the donkey. Further on the way home, they met an old Lady. She commented, "How can the man ride on the donkey but let the wife walk. He is no gentleman." The husband thus quickly asked the wife to join him on the donkey. Then, they met a young man. He commented, "Poor donkey, how can you hold up the weight of two persons. They are cruel to you." Hearing that, the husband and wife immediately climbed down from the donkey and carried it on their shoulders. It seems to be the only choice left. Later, on a narrow bridge, the donkey was frightened and struggled. They lost their balance and fell into the river. You can never have everyone praise you, nor will everyone condemn you. Never in the past, not at present, and never will be in the future. Thus, do not be too bothered by others words if our conscience is clear..
BE PATIENT
This is a true story which happened in the States. A man came out of his home to admire his new truck. To his puzzlement, his three-year-old son was happily hammering dents into the shiny paint of the truck. The man ran to his son, knocked him away, hammered the little boy's >hands into pulp as punishment. When the father calmed down, he rushed his son to the hospital. Although the doctor tried desperately to save the crushed bones, he finally had to amputate the fingers from both the boy's hands. When the boy woke up from the surgery & saw his bandaged stubs, he innocently said, " Daddy, I'm sorry about your truck." Then he asked, "but when are my fingers going to grow back?" The father went home & committed suicide. Think about this story the next time someone steps on your feet or u wish to take revenge. Think first before u lose your patience with someone u love. Trucks can be repaired.. Broken bones & hurt feelings often can't. Too often we fail to recognise the difference between the person and the performance. We forget that forgiveness is greater than revenge. People make mistakes. We are allowed to make mistakes. But the actions we take while in a rage will haunt us forever. Pause and ponder. Think before you act. Be patient. Forgive & forget. Love one and all. If you judge people, you have no time to love them.
Do you have them all? Think through...
"I think I should begin to 'trust' you..."
Rambled by kaSh at 1:35 pm
There are some events in our lives which can be classified under stupidity... for instance, have you ever seen someone who travels 30km on bike just to pass a few pieces of paper to another person, which she doesn't want it? Well we can do it within 1/2 hour, or you can pass it to her during school days... so tell me, is that classified under stupidity??
Ok then why do it then? Some are the reasons were 1) That person is really stupid and dumb. 2) That person has absolutely nothing to do. 3) That person wants to exercise on bike. 4) He just does not have anything better to do.
Ok crucial point, my point of view. It is fucking stupid. That person's outta his mind to do that and by doing so, the other even told him off... she said "I didn't call you to pass me the papers now what." Cool so he got told off, he travelled far, passed the paper, and got fucking told off.
Ok the next thing is, and the question is, why would anyone in the right mind do something like this? Ok it breaks down to a few reasons again. 1) He still has absolutely nothing to do. 2) He thinks it's fucking funny. 3) He thinks travelling on two wheels is more fun than on 4 (bus) or dozens (the goddamn train).
Now firstly, let's compare who is the more stubborn one. Let's name the faggot who travelled A and the person who received the shiet, B. A says meet at point X, B did not want or rather, point Y which is nearer to her house, or point Z, which is in between the two. Point X was easily accessible for A, so of course you will insist of meeting at X. So no conclusion was reached, and the day of meeting was pushed forward to the previous day morning. A couldn't wake up, B knows it, but insisted him to wake up. So again, no conclusion was reached... oh wait, there is, B said she doesn't want to papers anymore, obviously giving that tone which she wants it and knows that A WILL definately return by having B's way, so she was trying to use this technique called 'reverse psychology'.
In the end, A travelled to B's house. Back to first paragraph. Fuck it. So the question was, since B doesn't want the paper anymore, why did she take from A? Give me a fucking reason.
You call that sacrifice? I call that wasting of time. Sacrifice A's time and energy, so B thinks it's fun especially her sentence "I didn't call you to come here what." If I was A I will give the middle finger.
BTW it happened near midnight. Think about it.
"Being a person doesn't only require you to open your eyes and ears wide, but your goddamn heart too. If you can't feel or don't give a fuck on what the other is thinking, you better wake up your fucking idea."
Rambled by kaSh at 1:34 am
Went cycling yesterday night... ok which was in the morning today... ok... while I was cycling I was on the phone with this friend... after that we sms-ed... she said I gave her attitude... hmm... do I really sound that I give attitude while I am talking?? Haiz...
Woke up with a severe headache, thought my head was gonna explode... luckily it didn't.. thank god... can't meet up with that friend... sorry... think you are disappointed or agitated or irritated... I know your style.... sorry...
Tell yourself that chemistry rocks, and you will put your 120% into that subject, and you will do well..
BTW there are basically 3 kinds of people around us. 1) Dumb but hardworking. 2) Intelligent but lazy. 3) Intelligent and hardworking. Which one are you categorised in?
All in all, everything that is determined, is determined by your attitude... your perserverence till the end...
"Your attitude determines your altitude.."
Rambled by kaSh at 1:08 pm
Friday marks the end of the day of the term... yeah... cool in the sense that we do not have to go to school for 1 week... but wait, that doesn't spell fun... it spells the upcoming big event which everyone in the college fears, which everyone stresses out over it.. it is called The Preliminary Examinations.... it starts on the 13th Sept...
Took my napfa again this morning, ok I passed... cool no need to go for the extra 2 months in NS... shiok can slack at home for 2 months after A lvl... basically I camped in the library not doing anything for the past few hours until 12.... oh yeah, I went for lunch in the canteen with a friend.... ok her.... ok a friend...
Oh I just remembered something.. I dedicated a song through perfect 10 on Wed or Thurs.. to bad no one heard it... She read as "to 03s19 of TPJC, work hard for your prelims!" Oh well, since my class didnt hear it, must as well write it here, let you all know.... and that's not the only thing I had said, I had said somemore... oh well.. dedicated that too you too, too bad they didnt read out, perhaps they dont know what the hell am I typing....
Chemistry.... OMG... Mrs Lee doesn't really wanna talk to me in class... Ok lah I admit sometimes I really ask stupid questions and irritate the whole class, but sometimes I ask serious questions which they think I am joking, for instance, what's a labile proton? I don't believe it's defination is only a proton attached to an O group.... zzz then tio suan by Merry...
I asked Mrs Lee if she will be coming back during the Sept holidays so I can consult her for chem, she said no... OMG.. she thought I was joking with her and such until I said that in a serious tone asking her how should I contact her and such... Oh well...
Went to the general office, saw Mrs Lee again.... well she told me some words which I deemed she has some expectations held within me.... "You are able to do it, you no need my help." You are always consistent in your work, it's just that you are lazy at times." No no, not in a sarcastic manner... from her tone she meant that she had some expectations in me, she expect me to get as least something good for chem....
I hope I'll not disappoint her. I hope I'll not disappoint myself...
Holidays are here, whilst everyone is in the holiday mood, our college isn't... I am not, and I will not be.. I will study hard. I AM COMING PHEAR ME!
BTW, the first paper is GP and Chemistry Paper 3. Goddamnit.
"Perservre and you will see the fruits of your labour..."
Rambled by kaSh at 6:02 pm
Met up with the girls for breakfast... yeah macdonalds' again...... zzzzzzz... Ok we got locked up for 2 hours and 45 minutes and I did absolutely nothing in there...
Ok chem prac... had 3 experiments to do.. I've got an average of 20.625 for my titration value which differ from others by ALOT. How??? Haiz.. And the ammonia stinks... zzz stinks like crazy my nose was really itchy at that time...
Ok, I should be able to pass my chem... but that's not enough, guess I have to work hard for my written work...
I stained my hand with potassium manganate (VII)!!! Argh brown colour all over...
Holidays are coming soon, and after that it will be the prelims... frankly speaking, I kinda missed the lessons I had last time... those making fun of teachers and such in the class, sleeping, eating... and I foresee this will not happen anymore in the future... haiz... cherish these good times before they are gona forever....
The thing that I will miss most is you.... the moments that you always be by my side, for every single period of tutorial, asking and replying questions, laughing throughout the lesson, or just simply keeping quiet on your chair, in deep thought of course... Enjoyed the silence... some things are just meant left to be unsaid, unheard and untouched...
I will miss your smile, your laughter, your silliness, your clumsiness.. there were times I say things which weren't what I mean, sometimes you know, sometimes you don't... so I just hope that you understand that even though I say things which aren't you, I don't mean that way... you are the best among all...
There were also times which things go rough, really rough and that made us really sad... just because things blew up and affected most of our moods... for that, I would like to apologise again... Just wanna let you know, I don't want you to be that way, sometimes I am out of control...
All I want you to be is happy, cheerful... however, we are human beings. Negative emotions such as sadness, anger dwell upon us for the past ten thousand years; nothing has changed... However we can reduce them, and I hope that I have reduced them for you....
Last but not least, you are someone special and unique, someone special and unique to me. I would like to say that I cherish you every single bit, I am really thankful for you entering into my life, getting to know someone so special like you, created and solved problems over you and best of all, to cherish you....
You know who you are... and I hope you'll read this...
"Friends. They quarrel, they fight, they forgive, they forget. Unlike us. We quarrel, we fight, we don't forget, but we forgive... and we fight again..."
Rambled by kaSh at 5:32 pm
As the title speaks, control is the key... if you are able to control the game, you are most likely to win.. if you are able to control things from within, you will not be afraid of things without... if you are able to control your emotions, your temper, you will appear more calm than the others...
The problem is, I can't control. I can't control my game, I can't control my emotions... haiz...
Rambled by kaSh at 6:01 pm
Ok Teacher's day was yesterday... I wasn't in school.. wanted to go back to that dunman f up school but well eventually we didnt.. Screwed up.... Ok I woke up, watched AvP and I-Robot, then went back to sleep again.. Then woke up and meet up with her and passed her some notes and went down to pasir ris to collect my contacts...
Yeah I studied a little, sat there and do math for 3 hours... scared or not??
Today?? Goddamnit I am wasting my time idling here again.. and blogging.. what's this? Prelim's 13 days away and A lvl's 63... Seriously I am screwed. I didn't know where to start studying from... goddamnit..
Chem prac's tomorrow, and my practical reports are scattered around the house... so in conclusion, I can't study for it.. So tomorrow' prac, I will just depend on my luck then...
Ever seen some stupid arrangements whereby you report at 1115 and the practical starts at 2pm? Goddamnit, that's my school.. what are they trying to do??
"How long will it take to travel down this endless journey?? It's already endless, and it will be eternity..."
Rambled by kaSh at 2:30 pm
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