Name: Alvin
Age: 20
School: none
Education: none
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I feel down, sad, emotional... sometimes.. and at the same time, I feel relieved, relaxed, care free... Mixed feelings.. these aren't how I feel exactly, but it's just something rare, something which I have not felt for a very long time.
Any suggestions on getting rid of this kind of emotions? PLEASE STOP TELLING ME NOT TO THINK TOO MUCH. I have tried. Others? Thanks.
And by the way, this is the first time someone told me I look like a mugger. Do I look like one?
Rambled by kaSh at 9:19 pm
I am so stressed out. I need a relieve. Have been studying for the whole damn day, whole damn week, whole damn month. Who will not be stressed out?
Symptoms of stress for me:
- Feel like beating people.
- Cannot sleep in the night. Tossed and turned.
- Really agitated when you cannot solve something.
- Cannot sit still.
- Making someone cry.
I need sleeping pills. OMG...
Solitare Showdown anyone?
Got this quote from Mitchell's blog:
"Never judge the book by it's cover, People can choose not to show it but u just need to put in a little effort to feel it.."
Wonders if she plagiarise that or what.. anyways I've suddenly woke up after I've read that quote.. really meaningful..
Rambled by kaSh at 1:35 pm
Simple Plan - Welcome to my Life.
I feel that way sometimes. Listen to it and you will know what it means.
McFly - That Girl
A little of the hidden meanings there. Sounds funky and relaxed, but somehow or rather I 'feel' something in there.. ok bite me.
McFly- Obviously
Sweet lyrics. Think these guys just wanna convey the message to all you suckers out there to stop wasting your time. It's so goddamn obvious.
Ok guys, let's go jam these songs after A lvls.. hehe
Rambled by kaSh at 1:28 pm
I couldn't sleep last night, so I stayed up. Did some Chem. OMG.
Can you find two people playing Solitare Showdown in the middle of the night? Like 3am? In conclusion, in order to complete a single game, you need to play at least 10 times. So the probability of completing a game is 1/10.
I need my Chem theory! Please Free my mind~
Rambled by kaSh at 1:38 pm
In conclusion, when someone doesn't speak when you asks something, you are in the wrong. Yeah. Strange to start off a blog with the conclusion. Crap.
I seriously don't know how I feel. Damn. Don't care about me.
Someone asked, if you are to choose between the one you love so much that you will give up the world damn world for her and the world, which one will you choose?
Imagine you have a both someone you love and the world on your shoulders and you feel that you cannot take it anymore, which one will you leave behind?
If you had the chance to say just one sentence to either the person you love or the world, what will you say and who will you say to?
If both the world and the person you love betray you, who will you forgive?
"Sometimes I feel like sleeping, and never wake up."
WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING.
Rambled by kaSh at 7:20 pm
FUCK. I screwed up Chem prac. Y axis wrong, got all the stupid negative values, deductions wrong, anions wrong, this wrong, that wrong, how the f to excel?
Guess I have to depend on my theory then. Goddamnit.
How the hell am I gonna get rid of this feeling? Trying my goddamn best to do it. Haiz...
Rambled by kaSh at 10:50 pm
Chem prac's tomorrow. Nothing much. VA, some Physical Chem shiet and then QA. What happened to those pieces of practical reports I have done for the past two years? In fact I've only found some of them, marked but no corrections. The most recent one was the Prelims. Thank god I still have that and the answer scheme. Wish me luck
If you do not like me, say it or show it. Do not fucking be a hypocrite and try to be nice to me.
"You're the answer to my prayers."
Rambled by kaSh at 8:38 pm
Why do I always feel I am when I always tell myself I ain't? Why do I always want to have things my way? I need to change my thinking. I have my friends, classmates, buddies, parents, everyone... why do I feel imcomplete? Feeling really strange about this.
Why do I always have to ponder about the past, causing me to feel so doleful, so pain inside. Perhaps it's time to move on. Goddamnit. I have been telling myself that for the one thousandth and thirtieth time. Oh man..
Tell myself I am not alone. Tell myself I need to change for the world, not the world for me. Tell myself that not everyday is just about sleeping and slacking at home. Tell myself not to be so fooking lazy. Tell myself to move on.
Look at the bright side, the grass is always greener there... so why don't the cows go there too?
Rambled by kaSh at 10:28 am
Do you all expect me to write my daily life down here? Oh man. Ok studied in school again. Guess what? I left $5.65 in my atm account. Dua Peh Gong please grant me some fortune!
Goddamnit. I had this severe headache when I got home. Really pain until I can't sit up straight. The hell. And slight fever too. Oh man.
Don't need to live your life for others, that way, you will live your life to the fullest. No point doing something which you think it isn't worthwhile. No point changing something which cannot be changed overnight. If you are given the choice to change the world or the change yourself, which one would you change?
The world? It's easier to change yourself.
"Don't wanna feel this way."
Rambled by kaSh at 7:45 pm
I have this really really really bad feeling about my Physics practical. Really bad. I hope my significant figures and decimal places and accuracies are correct. Oh man. Bad bad feeling. Thursday's Chemistry practical. Need to be more prepared than this. I wanna aim high.
Lunch at BK. No more headahe and sorethroat (I hope) then went back to school to study again. Woohoo.. Guess what? I've learn something REALLY INTERESTING which most of the guys do not know... hehehe wanna know what it is? I won't tell you hahaha (Thanks Merry :p)
That's all. 9 more days to the Ministry of Education in Collaboration with the University of Cambridge "Advanced" Level Paper. Thanks.
Rambled by kaSh at 7:57 pm
Studied, then went to play badminton. Oh well I realised that I really suck at that game called badminton. Please forgive me. Then Pizza Hut. Oh well. I know. I wasn't well but I still continued eating that. But I was feeling better at that time already really! Came back and had a severe headache. Feeling much better now.
Shiet. I left $57.30 in my ATM account. I feel broke. Oh man. Guess what? There was one time I topped up my card with 20 bucks and after that I went to Mac to grab a bite. Little did I know that I did not have enough money. So no choice, pay by EzLink.
Monday's Physics Practical. Please wish me luck. Some notes to take:
- If x have 3 SIGNIFICANT FIGURES, then lg x/lg x/sin x/cos x/1/x/blah blah must have 3 DECIMAL PLACES.
- Coordinates on the graph must be indicated to HALF THE SMALLEST SQUARE. ie if 10 small squares make up 0.2, then 1 square makes up 0.02, then 1/2 a square makes 0.01. So the coordinates recorded must have the SAME NUMBER OF DECIMAL PLACES AS THAT OF THE 1/2 OF THE SMALLEST SQUARE. IE 2 DECIMAL PLACES. Another one. 10 small squares make up 0.5, then 1 square makes up 0.25, then 1/2 a square makes up 0.125. However the coordinate of 1/2 of the smallest square must only be in 1 SIGNIFICANT FIGURE. So 1/2 a square is 0.1. So the coordinate recorded only has 1 decimal places. Got it?
- When the X-axis does not start from 0, the Y-intecept is NOT the true intercept and vice versa.
Yeah. Hope I've got all those correct.
- Review my past practical reports.
- Read all about Electricity and Magnetism.
Yeah that's what I am gonna do tomorrow. Hope I don't feel that pain as much, not that sick as much. I wanna score for pratical!
Finally found out that someone who understands what the hell am I talking. She shares the same thoughts as me. Sometimes it's better not to intepret something and not to jump into conclusions when you do not know what's the whole scenario. For instance, I may look unfriendly and goddamn ah beng, but I would like a friend rather than an enemy.
A levels is just 11 days away and guess what, I am thinking of what to do after A's already. Was thinking if I do not get enlisted that early, I shall go teach! As a relieve teacher. Phrases like "Good morning Mr Low." and such will be fun. Haha, oh man, need the cash for erm.. well not sure.. Hope I can find something to do after A levels, if not I will be playing badminton for the whole damn month.
Remember this, to love someone doesn't mean to have them. Find this quite true. When you love someone, let her go (yeah I've heard a thousand times). Yeah. Go away. Come back to me when you are ready, but if you aren't coming back, you aren't the one for me, and something like this should not have happened at all.
It's best to remain friends, even the best of friends.
Think about it. Loving someone but doesn't mean to have her. How would you feel? Letting go her and feeling so hurt at the same time, facing facts that she aren't the one for you, realising that he is the better one for her. Don't fret. You are not in anyway inferior to that guy, you are unique. Everyone loves you for what you are.
Live life to the fullest. Ride on. Love is just another game of life. Just like studies.
"In the midst of the ocean, I've realised that, if you continue swimming, you will reach your destination. It's just a matter of time."
Rambled by kaSh at 11:23 pm
I don't feel right. It's not fucking funny at all. I may seem well on the outside but screwed up and fucked up in the inside. Something's wrong with me. Don't ask me what it is, I don't know how to say. Fuck it. Can't sleep, can't eat, can't drink, can't do this, can't do that. See the doctor? No fucking way.
I vomitted. Oh great. Wasted my goddamn money on dinner.
I expressed too much of myself? Ok then. Next time I won't show you my bad mood. All you can see is the happy side of me.
I can't. I can't be happy if I ain't. DUH. I don't wanna be a hyprocrite. If I ain't happy about something, I will say it out. If I ain't ok, I will say I am not. I don't care what you all think. Fuck you all. Screw me.
Go away.
Rambled by kaSh at 11:31 pm
Wanna eat but there isn't any food left.
Feels tired but not gonna sleep.
Wanna beat people but there isn't anyone for me.
GODDAMNIT THIS FEELING SUCKS.
I hate you all.
Rambled by kaSh at 1:09 am
I am afraid. I am afraid of everything. I fear that thing will be back to haunt me again. I fear for the things that you have done to me, will come back for me again. I am afraid that history repeats itself. I am scared, really scared. I do not know what to do.
I am afraid of losing you..
Rambled by kaSh at 1:33 am
I am getting sick. Cold. Sneezed and coughed. Sneezed more. The weather was so cold. Oh man. Coughed. Hope I don't get a sore throat, if not I can't talk as much. Yeah. Stayed in the library from 10 plus till 6pm. Woohoo almost finished what I was suppose to do yesterday. Hope I can finish those that I want to tomorrow.
Mrs Foong, she was my FM teacher, and she was the one who signed my dropout form for FM. Talked to her today. Initially she told me not to do mechanics. I was wondering why. Then she went on. She said she would rather me do the Applied section, ie a mixture of both Stats and Mech. Then she told me I shouldn't had dropped FM. She said it was a pity. I could cope with Fm. OMG. I didn't and never expect her to say that. She was the one who signed the goddamn form.
I hope I won't be able to fall sick. Oh well. Please do not fall sick at such a goddamn crucial time. Physics practical's next monday. OMG. I ain't nervous for now, but I think I will when the time comes. I will jump around like a fool and do this that this that just to calm myself down.
Didn't have any appetite when I came home. Went to sleep for a while. Wanted to do some work but oh well, guess I'd to sleep more. Well I mean... eh some things just cannot be explained. I am stubborn. I know that. Most of us know that. I mean, there are some things you cannot just change overnight. There are some things which takes time to recover, time to get along and such and so on. Just like feelings in the heart. Sometimes when you hate someone really much, you may realise after 10 years or so, you will forget about the hatred and may even realise oh well those things I did 10 years ago was foolish, immature and crap.
Another thing. I like to write. That's why I can crap so much here. Too bad I don't have a strong command of English. I write things that I cannot express through the mouth or actions. Just like what I am feeling right now. I do not know what to do. Things which I've told myself not to bother and not to care don't seem to go away. As much as I wanted to get rid of them, I can't. I hope I can find some explanations, through all these things which I had gone through. I am afraid to breakdown again. I am afraid to go all the way so damn far just to realise that it's nothing for me there, sadly turning back, walking alone along the path. I am afraid.
Why didn't I consider the fact that some people do care when they scold, and it doesn't mean they don't scold, they don't care. I am expecting too much from people,. but I never have considered what I have done to myself to expect so many things from them. I don't wanna cross that line again. I am afraid to make people shed a thousand more tears just because they don't meet up to my expectations. I am really selfish. F*** me.
Oh man, I am regretting things that I've done.
"Would you home with me when you realise that I am all alone?"
Rambled by kaSh at 11:07 pm
Courtesy of Isabella Tsan:
Daily life of mine: go sch study come home sleep wake up online.
Thanks.
"All I can do is just to say, you and I know that we can't cross that line..."
Rambled by kaSh at 7:15 pm
17 more days to A levels. I am officially off from school. Kinda miss my class. The previous post was for my class. yeah. Thank you guys for everything.
Studied studied and studied. Went out for a while, made specs? Haha. Ok. Back to the books.
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I can't sleep in the night
I can't think in the daylight
I can't live through the day
Things doesn't seem to go my way.
What am I suppose to do
To live my life without you
What am I suppose to say
If things don't go our way.
Why aren't feelings not mentioned out?
Why life goes on with or without
Why things which aren't suppose to be spoken
Why mention, when ones heart will be broken
Wtf am I doing.
Rambled by kaSh at 8:07 am
I'm sorry for what I've done. I thought everything was well, everything went on fine. I expected the both of us to put the past behind and look forward to another chapter. I really hope for that. I am really sorry for the cause of your mental stress. You claimed that it wasn't me, but I felt it was me all the while. If I hadn't enter your life and make a mess outta it, you won't be like this.
I am really sorry for all the cause. I feel really bad now. I don't know how to express myself. I've said we put the past behind. But some things just wander around me very much. I do not have the choice but to write out how I feel. I feel really bad for the cause of your sickness. I really want you to recover fast. Please take care. Please... I am trying my best to make you to take care of yourself, although I know you cannot be forced, I just want to move on, I don't wanna dwell on it, I hope you will recover soon.
God Bless.
Rambled by kaSh at 8:24 pm
Ok prom tables. Yesterday we rushed down to the interchange to get the 'receipt' which apparently Merry forgot to bring. Oh well some marathon running. It's fun. LOL. Went back to the school and passed it to my friends who were queuing.. Belle, Sophia and JUNE YONG! LoL. Well there were apparently some misunderstandings in the queue but erm I don't really know what happened so just keep quiet.
Yeah I dared June Yong to ask Belle for prom face to face. Well the situation was like this:
Me: Have you dated Belle for prom?
June: Yeah. I asked through Hui ling.
Me: Do you have any balls? If I were to ask her face to face she would rather go with me.
June: *feels so damn scared of me* Come we ask her face to face tomorrow.
Me: Set. Who lose who treat lunch.
Ok apparently I lost. I did it on purpose. Haha.
June: I was just asking if you would like to go to the prom with me. *face changes colour to red, hands shivering, eyes looking on the floor, mouth's trembling.*
We all jumped and made hell lotsa noises, then suddenly...
Belle: Huh what you say? *blushes*
LAUGHING OUT LOUD LOL JUNE YONG TIO SUAN HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA.
Ok at the end of the day yeah June got his date, and after all that he just realised that ALVIN HAS ALREADY HAD ONE. So apparently he exposed my ulterior motive: To get him to ask face to face.
Hehe, I don't mind sacrificing my lunch June Yong, I know you are so god damn happy too, you should treat me lunch instead. LOL
Goddamnit. Why did I forget such an interesting happening in school?
"There's only one way to fail; that's to quit."
Rambled by kaSh at 10:20 pm
Studied in school for the whole day until 830pm after my lessons. Well you can say I've did some work but oh well I guess it wasn't as productive as I thought. But it's ok. I'd rather study with someone than alone. Hehe.. went for a dinner at the central after that. Hmm nothing interesting happened though, just secluded myself and another friend of mine in a corner doing work and talking rubbish.
Today: Yeah I just got home for a all work no lessons day. Initially wanted to come home at 1130 but was stopped by my Physics teacher. I faked a little by asking him some stupid questions then walked off secretly. I slept for a while and realised that I cannot continue doing this. I know I will not study when I come home. Ok so I continued to study until now. Hehehe
Rambled by kaSh at 3:49 pm
I watched White Chicks. Goddamn hilarious. Go catch it too. Yeah. Apparently I've slacked for the whole day. Oh, sitting in front of the computer for the whole day not only eats up your time for revision, but it also spoils your eyes.
I think I have wasted hell lotsa time when I left 24 days to the big big big big big open ceremony of the theory papers: General Paper. Apparently I got 45/100 which was just a pass and I think I can do better if I start reading and speak and write proper English.
Am I writing proper English?
"Freedom is a privilege, not a right."
Rambled by kaSh at 10:15 pm
And I've watched Wimbledon yesterday. Initially I wanted to watch White Chicks, goddamnit I am gonna catch the show no matter what argh! Yeah so went to bugis to eat yoshi then traveled down to Cineleisure which there were hell lotsa people and waited for the 730pm show. Quite a nice show I must say, some romantic and yet competitive show, a game of tennis. The show really gives a different perspective of a player from what you always see during competitions. Yeah. Go catch it too.
KFC at PS after that. I had hell lotsa time. Haha. So just wander around. And yeah before watching the movie I went to play basketball. I hope Saturdays are as fun as yesterday.
I am gonna watch White Chicks today. Don't stop me noooooooooooooooooooooo!
Rambled by kaSh at 11:52 am
Ok here's the paradox. I've said I am gonna sit down and study. Study is important now. And guess what? I can't. Oh. One of the key reasons is that I wake up at 1pm in the afternoon and feeling so goddamn tired and wanted to go back to sleep again. I tried to control myself by sitting in front of the com. Eventually, I still go back to my bed.
I can sit in front of the computer for the whole damn day. This computer is my life. I cannot imagine how am I gonna live without it. That's how bad it is. It's affecting my studies. Every night I tell myself I wanna study but this piece of thingy is distracting me. ARGHHHH!
Can someone please shoot my computer with a gun? Thanks.
Rambled by kaSh at 2:06 pm
Ok let's talk about prom since I've read a friend of mine's blog which she was mentioning on how to get a guy she wants to go with, to ask her, despite LOTSA other guys have asked her or hinted her to go with them. Popular eh? *winks at Fel*
Ritz Carlton, Dec 1st, eh what is the time? Where is my ticket???
Dresscode: Berms and shirt. I will get kicked out trust me. DUH.
My class has decided 2 tables of then each. Ok the complicated issue, which was solved earlier on, was that you dont wanna sit with me and she dont wanna sit with her but she wants to sit with another. Cool. So a general formula of E = mc*2 was formulated.
Ok. So now let's see is it really important to have a date for prom. I mean, ok if you have a girlfriend or boyfriend yes you have to go with them. I mean yeah, normal people will do that. So how about going with a girl who you wanna go with? I call that a date. Yeah. As mentioned by my friend, she wanted this guy to go with her so badly but she don't know how to hint. Oh well, you can go with your friends too what.
What about me? Well I've got a date. Yeah just a friend of mine whom I asked at the start of the year. Fast right?? I mean, early right? I am crazy. So shoot me.
Oh yeah, I am unavailable for prom. Thanks. =)
Rambled by kaSh at 4:56 pm
I am going to study really hard. I don't wanna regret anymore. I've had two major exams which I had done better in the prelims than the national exam. What crap is this. I don't wanna be an asshole ending up with stupid grades and pretending that I'm alright. I have high expectations for myself. I believe what others can do, I can do better. It's just the matter of how much effort and you going to put in.
It's your future. You shape your own future and no one else. Some people say life is pre-destined. Somehow or rather I agree, but nevertheless you must put in your best efforts into everything you do.
However please bear in mind that not everything will turn out as you expected when you put in a great amount of effort in it. Sometimes things will turn out when you least expected.
3 years from now I'd like to go into the field of Chemical Engineering. I once aspired to be a doctor, and I've not really given up that dream yet, so yeah another option for me is to the Medical field.
What about you? Time for school.
Rambled by kaSh at 7:01 am
I can't say this will be the last time we are going to touch this subject, but oh well... time an again I just feel that I should explain things to her, to clear some misunderstandings. Well that's how I feel; I feel that she is misunderstanding me.. oh well.. I still do not know how she feels... but I guess I just have to keep on guessing.
Yeah, can't really study because of that... well tried to study in school this afternoon but well went around to disturb people. Sometimes this kind of things really do affect your mood to study. Sometimes you tell yourself to let go but you just can't.
However after that conversation I think I need to make a choice. Oh well... I just wanna say, at the beginning I've regretted telling you everything. I've regretted calling you out to meet me on that day.
There were things which hurt us alot. There were countless of times which I have made you cry. I've felt the deep cut in my heart. Some things really do hurt alot. Some things which aren't worth to ponder just can't seem to get off your mind.
But there are a couple of lessons I have learnt through this experience. A vast load of them. Sometimes you will have to 'sacrifice' some things to gain others. Through this process I've learnt what is the major difference between a friend and a girlfriend, I've learnt who is the most trustworthy among all, I've learnt not to jump into conclusions, I've learnt to control myself. I've learnt alot of things in the expense of my emotions.
Come to think of it, I do not regret telling you afterall. Because I'd rather let you know how I feel, than to regret by not telling you that at the end of the day.
"Do something you may regret, rather than regretting something which you have not done."
Rambled by kaSh at 9:14 pm
Time to settle down and start studying, so may not blog as much as usual. Yeah still will blog though, still coming online though, my com is switched on forever... have not switched it off and let it rest overnight for more than 2 years already... of course there are frequent restarts but oh well..
Some of us think that docking the computer 24/7 will spoil the it. The truth is, computers are made to do that. Trust me, you've never seen the traffic light shutting down and rest for even 5 minutes before. What about electrical costs? Well some PCs use 300 to 400W of PSC. 1kWh costs about 15 cents? So calculate how much your bill will be in 1 month.
Trying to let go. Yeah, let go. Think the feeling will be gone soon. Well just don't know how to describe myself. Crap. Been down this few days. Hope it doesn't affect my studying plan and people around me.
STUDY STUDY STUDY!
"just wanna stand on two feet, by myself."
Rambled by kaSh at 7:13 pm
Ok let's talk about racism.
In 1964, a racial riot arised and it led to bloodshed between the Chinese and Muslims. Since there, the government spent countless of efforts to promote social cohersion among the different ethnic groups in Singapore. Of course, tensions among the different groups are inevitable, but what we have to do now is to tolerate.
Ok. I had some really nice Malay friends during my secondary school days. They were in my clas and we had fun together. There was this only malay friend of mine who was in my sec 3/4 school days. We did not outcast him. Never would we have done that. In fact, he was one of those more hardworking ones in the class.
I even had a malay uncle. He was a really close uncle of mine. I remembered when I was young the couple always brought me out to have fun. He loved finishing, and he even said he would bring me to fish one day when I was older. He brought me around the island. If it wasn't for him and my aunt, I did not know where would I get half of the toys in my house from. Unfortunately, he passed away last year.
I have this friend who was a malay, though not close, but I've heard from friends that sometimes he was really ashamed to be a malay. The reason? When he sees a bunch of them congregate and making a fool outta themselves in public, he feels ashamed, embarrassed.
I feel the same way as him. If you do not believe me, observe by yourself. Does that make me a racist?
Rambled by kaSh at 9:24 pm
I've forgotten what I've done on Fri, so let's skip that day.
Oh. drank starbucks.
Sat:
Ok spent the whole day in the L&T bike shop. Went there at 11 with Zeqi. Helped him carry his heavy fork, but apparently my fork's heavier. Yeah initially I thought I wanted XT V-brakes, but come to think of it, Avid Arch Rivals sounds nicer. LoL
Yeah apparently it was the whole day there. Changed some parts. Got a Carbon Element handlebar and Arch Rival V-brakes. Spent about 100+ for that.
And yeah a Ricthie stem too.
Sun:
Cycled a total of 68.25km in the morning. Same old route, just that this time we went to orchard. Wei Luo, Miao Wen, Toh Chen, Zeqi, ShuQi. And we conquered the cargo complex too after a 10km run along East Coast Park.
Nothing much but just photos below. Pics of my bike just before I go up to my house.
"When I feel that I cannot go on any further, I think back. It is you who give me the driving force."
Rambled by kaSh at 1:17 pm
Any suggestions on getting rid of this kind of emotions? PLEASE STOP TELLING ME NOT TO THINK TOO MUCH. I have tried. Others? Thanks.
And by the way, this is the first time someone told me I look like a mugger. Do I look like one?
Rambled by kaSh at 9:19 pm
Looks can be deceiving. Yeah.
I am so stressed out. I need a relieve. Have been studying for the whole damn day, whole damn week, whole damn month. Who will not be stressed out?
Symptoms of stress for me:
- Feel like beating people.
- Cannot sleep in the night. Tossed and turned.
- Really agitated when you cannot solve something.
- Cannot sit still.
- Making someone cry.
I need sleeping pills. OMG...
Solitare Showdown anyone?
Got this quote from Mitchell's blog:
"Never judge the book by it's cover, People can choose not to show it but u just need to put in a little effort to feel it.."
Wonders if she plagiarise that or what.. anyways I've suddenly woke up after I've read that quote.. really meaningful..
Rambled by kaSh at 1:35 pm
Few things I would like to say about the songs that I've listened.
Simple Plan - Welcome to my Life.
I feel that way sometimes. Listen to it and you will know what it means.
McFly - That Girl
A little of the hidden meanings there. Sounds funky and relaxed, but somehow or rather I 'feel' something in there.. ok bite me.
McFly- Obviously
Sweet lyrics. Think these guys just wanna convey the message to all you suckers out there to stop wasting your time. It's so goddamn obvious.
Ok guys, let's go jam these songs after A lvls.. hehe
Rambled by kaSh at 1:28 pm
I couldn't sleep last night, so I stayed up. Did some Chem. OMG.
Can you find two people playing Solitare Showdown in the middle of the night? Like 3am? In conclusion, in order to complete a single game, you need to play at least 10 times. So the probability of completing a game is 1/10.
I need my Chem theory! Please Free my mind~
Rambled by kaSh at 1:38 pm
In conclusion, when someone doesn't speak when you asks something, you are in the wrong. Yeah. Strange to start off a blog with the conclusion. Crap.
I seriously don't know how I feel. Damn. Don't care about me.
Someone asked, if you are to choose between the one you love so much that you will give up the world damn world for her and the world, which one will you choose?
Imagine you have a both someone you love and the world on your shoulders and you feel that you cannot take it anymore, which one will you leave behind?
If you had the chance to say just one sentence to either the person you love or the world, what will you say and who will you say to?
If both the world and the person you love betray you, who will you forgive?
"Sometimes I feel like sleeping, and never wake up."
WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING.
Rambled by kaSh at 7:20 pm
FUCK. I screwed up Chem prac. Y axis wrong, got all the stupid negative values, deductions wrong, anions wrong, this wrong, that wrong, how the f to excel?
Guess I have to depend on my theory then. Goddamnit.
How the hell am I gonna get rid of this feeling? Trying my goddamn best to do it. Haiz...
Rambled by kaSh at 10:50 pm
Chem prac's tomorrow. Nothing much. VA, some Physical Chem shiet and then QA. What happened to those pieces of practical reports I have done for the past two years? In fact I've only found some of them, marked but no corrections. The most recent one was the Prelims. Thank god I still have that and the answer scheme. Wish me luck
If you do not like me, say it or show it. Do not fucking be a hypocrite and try to be nice to me.
"You're the answer to my prayers."
Rambled by kaSh at 8:38 pm
You're not alone..
Why do I always feel I am when I always tell myself I ain't? Why do I always want to have things my way? I need to change my thinking. I have my friends, classmates, buddies, parents, everyone... why do I feel imcomplete? Feeling really strange about this.
Why do I always have to ponder about the past, causing me to feel so doleful, so pain inside. Perhaps it's time to move on. Goddamnit. I have been telling myself that for the one thousandth and thirtieth time. Oh man..
Tell myself I am not alone. Tell myself I need to change for the world, not the world for me. Tell myself that not everyday is just about sleeping and slacking at home. Tell myself not to be so fooking lazy. Tell myself to move on.
Look at the bright side, the grass is always greener there... so why don't the cows go there too?
Rambled by kaSh at 10:28 am
Do you all expect me to write my daily life down here? Oh man. Ok studied in school again. Guess what? I left $5.65 in my atm account. Dua Peh Gong please grant me some fortune!
Goddamnit. I had this severe headache when I got home. Really pain until I can't sit up straight. The hell. And slight fever too. Oh man.
Don't need to live your life for others, that way, you will live your life to the fullest. No point doing something which you think it isn't worthwhile. No point changing something which cannot be changed overnight. If you are given the choice to change the world or the change yourself, which one would you change?
The world? It's easier to change yourself.
"Don't wanna feel this way."
Rambled by kaSh at 7:45 pm
I have this really really really bad feeling about my Physics practical. Really bad. I hope my significant figures and decimal places and accuracies are correct. Oh man. Bad bad feeling. Thursday's Chemistry practical. Need to be more prepared than this. I wanna aim high.
Lunch at BK. No more headahe and sorethroat (I hope) then went back to school to study again. Woohoo.. Guess what? I've learn something REALLY INTERESTING which most of the guys do not know... hehehe wanna know what it is? I won't tell you hahaha (Thanks Merry :p)
That's all. 9 more days to the Ministry of Education in Collaboration with the University of Cambridge "Advanced" Level Paper. Thanks.
Rambled by kaSh at 7:57 pm
Studied, then went to play badminton. Oh well I realised that I really suck at that game called badminton. Please forgive me. Then Pizza Hut. Oh well. I know. I wasn't well but I still continued eating that. But I was feeling better at that time already really! Came back and had a severe headache. Feeling much better now.
Shiet. I left $57.30 in my ATM account. I feel broke. Oh man. Guess what? There was one time I topped up my card with 20 bucks and after that I went to Mac to grab a bite. Little did I know that I did not have enough money. So no choice, pay by EzLink.
Monday's Physics Practical. Please wish me luck. Some notes to take:
- If x have 3 SIGNIFICANT FIGURES, then lg x/lg x/sin x/cos x/1/x/blah blah must have 3 DECIMAL PLACES.
- Coordinates on the graph must be indicated to HALF THE SMALLEST SQUARE. ie if 10 small squares make up 0.2, then 1 square makes up 0.02, then 1/2 a square makes 0.01. So the coordinates recorded must have the SAME NUMBER OF DECIMAL PLACES AS THAT OF THE 1/2 OF THE SMALLEST SQUARE. IE 2 DECIMAL PLACES. Another one. 10 small squares make up 0.5, then 1 square makes up 0.25, then 1/2 a square makes up 0.125. However the coordinate of 1/2 of the smallest square must only be in 1 SIGNIFICANT FIGURE. So 1/2 a square is 0.1. So the coordinate recorded only has 1 decimal places. Got it?
- When the X-axis does not start from 0, the Y-intecept is NOT the true intercept and vice versa.
Yeah. Hope I've got all those correct.
- Review my past practical reports.
- Read all about Electricity and Magnetism.
Yeah that's what I am gonna do tomorrow. Hope I don't feel that pain as much, not that sick as much. I wanna score for pratical!
Finally found out that someone who understands what the hell am I talking. She shares the same thoughts as me. Sometimes it's better not to intepret something and not to jump into conclusions when you do not know what's the whole scenario. For instance, I may look unfriendly and goddamn ah beng, but I would like a friend rather than an enemy.
A levels is just 11 days away and guess what, I am thinking of what to do after A's already. Was thinking if I do not get enlisted that early, I shall go teach! As a relieve teacher. Phrases like "Good morning Mr Low." and such will be fun. Haha, oh man, need the cash for erm.. well not sure.. Hope I can find something to do after A levels, if not I will be playing badminton for the whole damn month.
Remember this, to love someone doesn't mean to have them. Find this quite true. When you love someone, let her go (yeah I've heard a thousand times). Yeah. Go away. Come back to me when you are ready, but if you aren't coming back, you aren't the one for me, and something like this should not have happened at all.
It's best to remain friends, even the best of friends.
Think about it. Loving someone but doesn't mean to have her. How would you feel? Letting go her and feeling so hurt at the same time, facing facts that she aren't the one for you, realising that he is the better one for her. Don't fret. You are not in anyway inferior to that guy, you are unique. Everyone loves you for what you are.
Live life to the fullest. Ride on. Love is just another game of life. Just like studies.
"In the midst of the ocean, I've realised that, if you continue swimming, you will reach your destination. It's just a matter of time."
Rambled by kaSh at 11:23 pm
I don't feel right. It's not fucking funny at all. I may seem well on the outside but screwed up and fucked up in the inside. Something's wrong with me. Don't ask me what it is, I don't know how to say. Fuck it. Can't sleep, can't eat, can't drink, can't do this, can't do that. See the doctor? No fucking way.
I vomitted. Oh great. Wasted my goddamn money on dinner.
I expressed too much of myself? Ok then. Next time I won't show you my bad mood. All you can see is the happy side of me.
I can't. I can't be happy if I ain't. DUH. I don't wanna be a hyprocrite. If I ain't happy about something, I will say it out. If I ain't ok, I will say I am not. I don't care what you all think. Fuck you all. Screw me.
Go away.
Rambled by kaSh at 11:31 pm
Came back from college. Did what I wanted to do. Was frustrated on alot of shiet. Everything. Ok everything. Feeling so damn what now.
Wanna eat but there isn't any food left.
Feels tired but not gonna sleep.
Wanna beat people but there isn't anyone for me.
GODDAMNIT THIS FEELING SUCKS.
I hate you all.
Rambled by kaSh at 1:09 am
I am afraid. I am afraid of everything. I fear that thing will be back to haunt me again. I fear for the things that you have done to me, will come back for me again. I am afraid that history repeats itself. I am scared, really scared. I do not know what to do.
I am afraid of losing you..
Rambled by kaSh at 1:33 am
I am getting sick. Cold. Sneezed and coughed. Sneezed more. The weather was so cold. Oh man. Coughed. Hope I don't get a sore throat, if not I can't talk as much. Yeah. Stayed in the library from 10 plus till 6pm. Woohoo almost finished what I was suppose to do yesterday. Hope I can finish those that I want to tomorrow.
Mrs Foong, she was my FM teacher, and she was the one who signed my dropout form for FM. Talked to her today. Initially she told me not to do mechanics. I was wondering why. Then she went on. She said she would rather me do the Applied section, ie a mixture of both Stats and Mech. Then she told me I shouldn't had dropped FM. She said it was a pity. I could cope with Fm. OMG. I didn't and never expect her to say that. She was the one who signed the goddamn form.
I hope I won't be able to fall sick. Oh well. Please do not fall sick at such a goddamn crucial time. Physics practical's next monday. OMG. I ain't nervous for now, but I think I will when the time comes. I will jump around like a fool and do this that this that just to calm myself down.
Didn't have any appetite when I came home. Went to sleep for a while. Wanted to do some work but oh well, guess I'd to sleep more. Well I mean... eh some things just cannot be explained. I am stubborn. I know that. Most of us know that. I mean, there are some things you cannot just change overnight. There are some things which takes time to recover, time to get along and such and so on. Just like feelings in the heart. Sometimes when you hate someone really much, you may realise after 10 years or so, you will forget about the hatred and may even realise oh well those things I did 10 years ago was foolish, immature and crap.
Another thing. I like to write. That's why I can crap so much here. Too bad I don't have a strong command of English. I write things that I cannot express through the mouth or actions. Just like what I am feeling right now. I do not know what to do. Things which I've told myself not to bother and not to care don't seem to go away. As much as I wanted to get rid of them, I can't. I hope I can find some explanations, through all these things which I had gone through. I am afraid to breakdown again. I am afraid to go all the way so damn far just to realise that it's nothing for me there, sadly turning back, walking alone along the path. I am afraid.
Why didn't I consider the fact that some people do care when they scold, and it doesn't mean they don't scold, they don't care. I am expecting too much from people,. but I never have considered what I have done to myself to expect so many things from them. I don't wanna cross that line again. I am afraid to make people shed a thousand more tears just because they don't meet up to my expectations. I am really selfish. F*** me.
Oh man, I am regretting things that I've done.
"Would you home with me when you realise that I am all alone?"
Rambled by kaSh at 11:07 pm
Courtesy of Isabella Tsan:
Daily life of mine: go sch study come home sleep wake up online.
Thanks.
"All I can do is just to say, you and I know that we can't cross that line..."
Rambled by kaSh at 7:15 pm
17 more days to A levels. I am officially off from school. Kinda miss my class. The previous post was for my class. yeah. Thank you guys for everything.
Studied studied and studied. Went out for a while, made specs? Haha. Ok. Back to the books.
Rambled by kaSh at 7:56 pm
Today's the last official day of school. Physics lecture at first, but I wasn't there. Oh well.. Well we took lots photos, few with me in there though, Don't really like to take photos haha... I look like shiet in there.
Well when I first entered to this class 03s19, Frankly speaking I didn't really like it. I did not know why, perhaps it wasn't as fun as the class I had for the first 3 months. At the end of last year I still had some doubts about the class. The only people I was ok with were a few of the guys and Merry.
But then I came to realise that the class wasn't that bad after all during the start of this year. I am beggining to like the class. Initially I thought the class hated me or something like that, oh well they never missed calling me out for some unofficialy outings and such... I am beggining to enjoy being in s19.
There were a few people who I don't really like so I prefer not to mention. Why I don't like them? Man sometimes you can't really explain something, if you don't like means don't like, no reasons for that. Today was the official ending and the programme sums up what we had for the past 2 years. I felt that everything had just happened yesterday. These memories really are worth the cherish. I am really glad to make friends from the class, I am really glad to have you all as a class. I am really glad you guys and girls don't hate me for disturbing and distracting you all just for my pleasure, I am really glad you all laughed along with me, with all of us, together. I apologise for things which I'd done really wrong, for things which you all do not like it, for things which I found myself, though doing 'right, was wrong to most of you. I am really glad to be part of the class. I really love you all.
To the guys, Kiat Haw, Jonathan, Rodney, Vincent, June Yong. You guys really rock. I am really sorry for drifting away from you at the end of this year. Thanks for being my friends. Thanks for walking into my life and leaving footprints behind. Thanks for all the laughter you guys induced in the class. Life is never fun without you all. Thank you Rodney for bombing all the questions onto me, giving me an oppotunity to help you. Thank you Kiat Haw for being such a great turn tablist, and skipping FM tutorials and lectures with me. Thank you Jonathan for being such a Pu Boh, never fails to sleep and getting good results at the same time. Thank you Camel for being the leader of the PW group. Haha.
To the rest of them, Ben, Yong Yu, Zheng Quan. I do feel you guys as part of the class. But I do not why I have the impression of have not seeing you all for a long time but oh well, gonna wish you guys all the best.
To the pretty ladies of s19, Pei Yu, Belle, Sophia, Way Chin, Hui Ling, Winnie, Yin Jie and the list goes on... I aren't really that close with you ladies until the middle of this year. You ladies will laugh at anything under the sun and that really brightens up the class. Thank you Pei Yu for listening to my sorrows and not complaining for me being so persistent and irritating. Thank you Belle for listening me talking rubbish all the time and not being irritated at all. Thank you Hui Ling and Winnie for being my PW group members, really really really enjoyed working with you all.
To the others that I have not mentioned, it doesn't mean you aren't significant to me, without you there will not be what's called 03s19. I apologise for not writing down. However I would like you wish you all the best in your future endevours.
To my Civics Tutor, Tay Boey Yoong, sorry for irritating you so damn much and almost made you cry. I am really sorry for that. I hope you will forgive me for that. You are a really good Math teacher, one of the best I've ever had.
To Mrs Lee, my Chem teacher, yeah you rock. Never had I a time which is bored with you around. Thank you for tolerating all my nonsense, everything that I've asked from the dying of your hair to your children, you really rock. You really rock in Chem.
Mr Liew? Horny teacher. Nevertheless I wanna take this oppotunity to thank you for all your hard work, for instance trying to get all of us to understand what the hell are you talking. Your methods of teaching have really improved greatly, yeah.
To someone so special to me: Thank you for entering into my life once again. Thank you for accompanying me everytime I am alone or feel bored. Thank you for not being mindful about my wildness and irritating voice. Thank you for hearing me sing all the time in class and not saying that it suck. Thank you for sitting beside me and listening to me crapping. Thank you for giving me the motivation to study. Thank you for being so irritated with me and shouted at me, I've realised my mistakes through that. Thank you for really being such a nice friend, really really really really nice person to be with all the time. Thank you for listening me speak all the time. Thank you for tolerating my shietness and crap. Thank you for leaving such a deep footprint in my heart. Sorry for hurting you time and again. Sorry for ignoring you when you want me to talk to you. Sorry for messing up your hair, your bag, your handphone, your water bottle, your lecture notes and your stationary. Thank you for being such a special someone to me. Thank you Merry.
And for other teachers, thank you so much for shaping my life in this college. Thank you. Below are some pictures taken. Memories...
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I can't sleep in the night
I can't think in the daylight
I can't live through the day
Things doesn't seem to go my way.
What am I suppose to do
To live my life without you
What am I suppose to say
If things don't go our way.
Why aren't feelings not mentioned out?
Why life goes on with or without
Why things which aren't suppose to be spoken
Why mention, when ones heart will be broken
Wtf am I doing.
Rambled by kaSh at 8:07 am
I'm sorry for what I've done. I thought everything was well, everything went on fine. I expected the both of us to put the past behind and look forward to another chapter. I really hope for that. I am really sorry for the cause of your mental stress. You claimed that it wasn't me, but I felt it was me all the while. If I hadn't enter your life and make a mess outta it, you won't be like this.
I am really sorry for all the cause. I feel really bad now. I don't know how to express myself. I've said we put the past behind. But some things just wander around me very much. I do not have the choice but to write out how I feel. I feel really bad for the cause of your sickness. I really want you to recover fast. Please take care. Please... I am trying my best to make you to take care of yourself, although I know you cannot be forced, I just want to move on, I don't wanna dwell on it, I hope you will recover soon.
God Bless.
Rambled by kaSh at 8:24 pm
Ok prom tables. Yesterday we rushed down to the interchange to get the 'receipt' which apparently Merry forgot to bring. Oh well some marathon running. It's fun. LOL. Went back to the school and passed it to my friends who were queuing.. Belle, Sophia and JUNE YONG! LoL. Well there were apparently some misunderstandings in the queue but erm I don't really know what happened so just keep quiet.
Yeah I dared June Yong to ask Belle for prom face to face. Well the situation was like this:
Me: Have you dated Belle for prom?
June: Yeah. I asked through Hui ling.
Me: Do you have any balls? If I were to ask her face to face she would rather go with me.
June: *feels so damn scared of me* Come we ask her face to face tomorrow.
Me: Set. Who lose who treat lunch.
Ok apparently I lost. I did it on purpose. Haha.
June: I was just asking if you would like to go to the prom with me. *face changes colour to red, hands shivering, eyes looking on the floor, mouth's trembling.*
We all jumped and made hell lotsa noises, then suddenly...
Belle: Huh what you say? *blushes*
LAUGHING OUT LOUD LOL JUNE YONG TIO SUAN HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA.
Ok at the end of the day yeah June got his date, and after all that he just realised that ALVIN HAS ALREADY HAD ONE. So apparently he exposed my ulterior motive: To get him to ask face to face.
Hehe, I don't mind sacrificing my lunch June Yong, I know you are so god damn happy too, you should treat me lunch instead. LOL
Goddamnit. Why did I forget such an interesting happening in school?
"There's only one way to fail; that's to quit."
Rambled by kaSh at 10:20 pm
Some updates.... yesterday:
Studied in school for the whole day until 830pm after my lessons. Well you can say I've did some work but oh well I guess it wasn't as productive as I thought. But it's ok. I'd rather study with someone than alone. Hehe.. went for a dinner at the central after that. Hmm nothing interesting happened though, just secluded myself and another friend of mine in a corner doing work and talking rubbish.
Today: Yeah I just got home for a all work no lessons day. Initially wanted to come home at 1130 but was stopped by my Physics teacher. I faked a little by asking him some stupid questions then walked off secretly. I slept for a while and realised that I cannot continue doing this. I know I will not study when I come home. Ok so I continued to study until now. Hehehe
Rambled by kaSh at 3:49 pm
I watched White Chicks. Goddamn hilarious. Go catch it too. Yeah. Apparently I've slacked for the whole day. Oh, sitting in front of the computer for the whole day not only eats up your time for revision, but it also spoils your eyes.
I think I have wasted hell lotsa time when I left 24 days to the big big big big big open ceremony of the theory papers: General Paper. Apparently I got 45/100 which was just a pass and I think I can do better if I start reading and speak and write proper English.
Am I writing proper English?
"Freedom is a privilege, not a right."
Rambled by kaSh at 10:15 pm
Ok have I mentioned I've watched Resident Evil 2 on saturday night? Cool show, had some parts which really 'surprised' and stunned you. Yeah not a bad show overall, be sure to catch it. It's a sequel of the first part.
And I've watched Wimbledon yesterday. Initially I wanted to watch White Chicks, goddamnit I am gonna catch the show no matter what argh! Yeah so went to bugis to eat yoshi then traveled down to Cineleisure which there were hell lotsa people and waited for the 730pm show. Quite a nice show I must say, some romantic and yet competitive show, a game of tennis. The show really gives a different perspective of a player from what you always see during competitions. Yeah. Go catch it too.
KFC at PS after that. I had hell lotsa time. Haha. So just wander around. And yeah before watching the movie I went to play basketball. I hope Saturdays are as fun as yesterday.
I am gonna watch White Chicks today. Don't stop me noooooooooooooooooooooo!
Rambled by kaSh at 11:52 am
Ok here's the paradox. I've said I am gonna sit down and study. Study is important now. And guess what? I can't. Oh. One of the key reasons is that I wake up at 1pm in the afternoon and feeling so goddamn tired and wanted to go back to sleep again. I tried to control myself by sitting in front of the com. Eventually, I still go back to my bed.
I can sit in front of the computer for the whole damn day. This computer is my life. I cannot imagine how am I gonna live without it. That's how bad it is. It's affecting my studies. Every night I tell myself I wanna study but this piece of thingy is distracting me. ARGHHHH!
Can someone please shoot my computer with a gun? Thanks.
Rambled by kaSh at 2:06 pm
Ok let's talk about prom since I've read a friend of mine's blog which she was mentioning on how to get a guy she wants to go with, to ask her, despite LOTSA other guys have asked her or hinted her to go with them. Popular eh? *winks at Fel*
Ritz Carlton, Dec 1st, eh what is the time? Where is my ticket???
Dresscode: Berms and shirt. I will get kicked out trust me. DUH.
My class has decided 2 tables of then each. Ok the complicated issue, which was solved earlier on, was that you dont wanna sit with me and she dont wanna sit with her but she wants to sit with another. Cool. So a general formula of E = mc*2 was formulated.
Ok. So now let's see is it really important to have a date for prom. I mean, ok if you have a girlfriend or boyfriend yes you have to go with them. I mean yeah, normal people will do that. So how about going with a girl who you wanna go with? I call that a date. Yeah. As mentioned by my friend, she wanted this guy to go with her so badly but she don't know how to hint. Oh well, you can go with your friends too what.
What about me? Well I've got a date. Yeah just a friend of mine whom I asked at the start of the year. Fast right?? I mean, early right? I am crazy. So shoot me.
Oh yeah, I am unavailable for prom. Thanks. =)
Rambled by kaSh at 4:56 pm
Time really flies. The last time I remembered counting down was like 175 days to A lvls. Now, it left only 26 days to the big day. I hope people who are taking the A lvls and O lvls are studying really hard now.
I am going to study really hard. I don't wanna regret anymore. I've had two major exams which I had done better in the prelims than the national exam. What crap is this. I don't wanna be an asshole ending up with stupid grades and pretending that I'm alright. I have high expectations for myself. I believe what others can do, I can do better. It's just the matter of how much effort and you going to put in.
It's your future. You shape your own future and no one else. Some people say life is pre-destined. Somehow or rather I agree, but nevertheless you must put in your best efforts into everything you do.
However please bear in mind that not everything will turn out as you expected when you put in a great amount of effort in it. Sometimes things will turn out when you least expected.
3 years from now I'd like to go into the field of Chemical Engineering. I once aspired to be a doctor, and I've not really given up that dream yet, so yeah another option for me is to the Medical field.
What about you? Time for school.
Rambled by kaSh at 7:01 am
I can't say this will be the last time we are going to touch this subject, but oh well... time an again I just feel that I should explain things to her, to clear some misunderstandings. Well that's how I feel; I feel that she is misunderstanding me.. oh well.. I still do not know how she feels... but I guess I just have to keep on guessing.
Yeah, can't really study because of that... well tried to study in school this afternoon but well went around to disturb people. Sometimes this kind of things really do affect your mood to study. Sometimes you tell yourself to let go but you just can't.
However after that conversation I think I need to make a choice. Oh well... I just wanna say, at the beginning I've regretted telling you everything. I've regretted calling you out to meet me on that day.
There were things which hurt us alot. There were countless of times which I have made you cry. I've felt the deep cut in my heart. Some things really do hurt alot. Some things which aren't worth to ponder just can't seem to get off your mind.
But there are a couple of lessons I have learnt through this experience. A vast load of them. Sometimes you will have to 'sacrifice' some things to gain others. Through this process I've learnt what is the major difference between a friend and a girlfriend, I've learnt who is the most trustworthy among all, I've learnt not to jump into conclusions, I've learnt to control myself. I've learnt alot of things in the expense of my emotions.
Come to think of it, I do not regret telling you afterall. Because I'd rather let you know how I feel, than to regret by not telling you that at the end of the day.
"Do something you may regret, rather than regretting something which you have not done."
Rambled by kaSh at 9:14 pm
Time to settle down and start studying, so may not blog as much as usual. Yeah still will blog though, still coming online though, my com is switched on forever... have not switched it off and let it rest overnight for more than 2 years already... of course there are frequent restarts but oh well..
Some of us think that docking the computer 24/7 will spoil the it. The truth is, computers are made to do that. Trust me, you've never seen the traffic light shutting down and rest for even 5 minutes before. What about electrical costs? Well some PCs use 300 to 400W of PSC. 1kWh costs about 15 cents? So calculate how much your bill will be in 1 month.
Trying to let go. Yeah, let go. Think the feeling will be gone soon. Well just don't know how to describe myself. Crap. Been down this few days. Hope it doesn't affect my studying plan and people around me.
STUDY STUDY STUDY!
"just wanna stand on two feet, by myself."
Rambled by kaSh at 7:13 pm
Ok let's talk about racism.
In 1964, a racial riot arised and it led to bloodshed between the Chinese and Muslims. Since there, the government spent countless of efforts to promote social cohersion among the different ethnic groups in Singapore. Of course, tensions among the different groups are inevitable, but what we have to do now is to tolerate.
Ok. I had some really nice Malay friends during my secondary school days. They were in my clas and we had fun together. There was this only malay friend of mine who was in my sec 3/4 school days. We did not outcast him. Never would we have done that. In fact, he was one of those more hardworking ones in the class.
I even had a malay uncle. He was a really close uncle of mine. I remembered when I was young the couple always brought me out to have fun. He loved finishing, and he even said he would bring me to fish one day when I was older. He brought me around the island. If it wasn't for him and my aunt, I did not know where would I get half of the toys in my house from. Unfortunately, he passed away last year.
I have this friend who was a malay, though not close, but I've heard from friends that sometimes he was really ashamed to be a malay. The reason? When he sees a bunch of them congregate and making a fool outta themselves in public, he feels ashamed, embarrassed.
I feel the same way as him. If you do not believe me, observe by yourself. Does that make me a racist?
Rambled by kaSh at 9:24 pm
Fri:
I've forgotten what I've done on Fri, so let's skip that day.
Oh. drank starbucks.
Sat:
Ok spent the whole day in the L&T bike shop. Went there at 11 with Zeqi. Helped him carry his heavy fork, but apparently my fork's heavier. Yeah initially I thought I wanted XT V-brakes, but come to think of it, Avid Arch Rivals sounds nicer. LoL
Yeah apparently it was the whole day there. Changed some parts. Got a Carbon Element handlebar and Arch Rival V-brakes. Spent about 100+ for that.
And yeah a Ricthie stem too.
Sun:
Cycled a total of 68.25km in the morning. Same old route, just that this time we went to orchard. Wei Luo, Miao Wen, Toh Chen, Zeqi, ShuQi. And we conquered the cargo complex too after a 10km run along East Coast Park.
Nothing much but just photos below. Pics of my bike just before I go up to my house.
"When I feel that I cannot go on any further, I think back. It is you who give me the driving force."
Rambled by kaSh at 1:17 pm
My friends
#verythin
Zeqi
Hsi En
Mitchell
Natasha
Qiu Hui Chewy
Hui Qi
Ginger
Belinda
Shu Ting
Leon
Zhi Wei
Lewis
Valerie
Xinmin
Isabelle
June Yong
Benjamin
Jiun Pey
Aik Meng
Wan Ling
Hui Ling
Clara
Jolene
Li Hui Ah Zai
Yin Jie
Lee Shyuan
Wei Luo
Way Chin
Hui Ying
Yani
Mary
Roddy
Yen Wei
Leanne
Isaac
Cheng Chong
Chun Pei
Mel
Shi Rui
Bert Shu Hao
Michelle
Eunice