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About Me Name: Alvin Age: 20 School: none Education: none
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Whoa tiring day... finally got my stuff... well I can't really say it looks nice but.. oh well, Merry says it's nice, perfect, wonderful... oh ok.. so... yeah... hahahaha.
First stop, suntec... then went into U2 a total of 4 times... hehehe... ok.. CityLink, Suntec then to Orchard to get money then back to CityLink then Suntec again, then Compassville (yeah) then Parkway! Cool journey man. You all can or not??? I AM SO DAMN FOOKING *TOOT* *TOOOT* *TOOOOOOOOOOOT*-ING HAPPY WOOHOO THANK YOU MERRY! and yes, Calista, Qi Hui and Huimin too... went to shop with me and CC on Friday, which I apparently didnt get anything coz those things I'd tried, look like zzz on me. Oh well nevertheless I still need to thank them anyways.. and yes you too Rachel! Haha thanks for accompanying me down, thought realising that I am not going to buy anything on that day but just to see only... and unfortunately thanks to the rain we can't really walk much but hey dude you put your umbrella into use man! Haha Thank you, my date r0x0rz j00 a55. Rambled by kaSh at 10:23 pm Walked walked walked walked walked walked walked walked. At least I saw something which I find it nice, and I THINK it will be nice on me this time... too bad the weather wasn't really cooperating with me, rained throughout my shopping expenditure, and I had to cross the road under an umbrella which I don't really like it, either way you will still get drops of water onto you. Yeah, I hope I can clear my prom stuff by tomorrow, which means, I need not have to shop on Tues and Wed for those stuff again... oh well.. What if..... they don't suit me? Oh well I can always find another suit.. and what if it doesn't have the ones I want? Muahahaha.... don't go prom? 75 bucks ok! Ok... Jeans and T-shirt. Usual combination while going out to Orchard and stuff... Eh Ritz Carlton is somewhere near town what, so what's the big deal.... jeans and t-shirt also can lah... lol I hope I can spend some money tomorrow, unlike today, just spent 5 bucks on food, food, food... and it's only 5 bucks.. nothing on shirt and such... argh. Just being really pessimisstic here, if I can't find my stupid shirt, either I won't go or wear the usual stuff, which, the latter, I will get fooking laugh at and people will go by teasing "hey dickhead this is PROM not some stupid outing!" Hahahahahaha. Don't worry Merry, I won't wanna disappoint you! Rambled by kaSh at 11:21 pm A level's over! Ok, I've longed for this day and when this day finally comes it wasn't as exciting as we'd imagined anymore. Oh well... suddenly miss studying.... so you guys still studying out there, please appreciate that... studying kills time... hehehe DOWN WITH FLU! FLU SUCKS! GODDAMNIT! CAN'T GO OUT, CAN'T CYCLE CAN'T DO THIS CAN'T DO THAT BUT JUST SLEEP ON THAT FOOKING BED! ARGH! Ok felt better to and went to shop for my prom stuff. FUCK. I've GOT NOTHING. This sucks. I feel damn demoralised now. Walked all day and nothing suits me. Nothing comes into my mind. Oh well.. think we guys are much much more troublesome than the girls. Girls see nice, buy buy buy. They can get 10 dresses at 1 shot and just wear 1 to prom, whereas guys, we only need ONE so we have to try try try try try try try try until THE ONE comes out and suits us so we buy. Ok, in conclusion, I am fooking troublesome. I HATE to shop for shirts and being so damn picky. See nice, buy. Go home, regret, nvm, better than not buying and it itches your heart while you are at home. It's so damn fortunate we need not put on makes like the ladies do =) Rambled by kaSh at 11:36 pm Fuck this world. Too many mofos trying to be so good to you in front and fuck you at the back. Fuck you. Rambled by kaSh at 10:54 pm I do not have any money to spend after A. Guess I have to stay at home and play maple the whole day. THIS SUCKS.. NO LIFE SHIET. Rambled by kaSh at 1:00 am Maple maple maple maple maple maple maple maple like nobody's business. With warmest gratitudes to Hui Ling again, thanks. Play play play play play till like the world's coming to an end, and thought the A levels was over. Physics. Screwed up. Need to pia for paper 3. Goddamnit. I alway say but never do. Ended up playing maple, killing stumps and snails, purchasing neverending powers of weapons and armours, Picking up ores from the floor after you've killed an enemy or so, jumping onto joy and hoping for another ore dropped, and it continues and until you realised it, 5 hours have passed, then you regretted, "OMFG I should be studying!" From the start I thought you were meant for me, now I've realised it wasn't meant to be. Somehow or rather we have reached an irrevisible stage of torment, something big and destructive in between us which can never be found and cured. All I really wish was what we had in the past, I am trying, but obviously you aren't, something's just there. I know it's me, as the saying goes, to err is human, to forgive, divine... read this book about God and so, somehow or rather I feel that whatever hatred we had given to at that very moment, was really foolish if you think about it sometime later. God forgives us for our sins, why not you? I ain't a Christian, but I believe in forgiveness. Not matter what wrong someone had done to me, despite of saying "I will not talk to you ever again." at that moment of anguish, eventually, forgiveness comes to heart, forgive and forget is the key, that's what makes us human beings, apart from other beasts which hunt and prey like no one's business. Really tired of all the shiet. Wanted to rest and just be like normal, somehow or rather, can't. There's just something there. I do not know what is it, and only you can tell me the answer and do something about it.... telling me but doing nothing isn't the complete answer... Eventually, you don't care.... and I can choose not to care too. A levels is coming to an end. Rambled by kaSh at 3:49 pm Maple. www.mapleglobal.com. Go try it. It's goddamn additive that I've even totally forgotten abt the A lvls. Thank you Hui Ling, Yin Jie, Isabella. Hehehe Rambled by kaSh at 1:21 am I dont wanna be alone. I feel like a loner now. Please. Don't leave me. Rambled by kaSh at 1:50 am You know there was this girl who goes by the name of Danielle who worked in Cafe Cartel Tampines during the first few months of the year. I often roamed Cartel with my friends or family there, and she was a familiar face. OMG I am so in love... Ok went there yesterday again with Hoong. No Danielle, but there is Daphne! When she walked pass us Hoong gave that stupid cheeky smile and I can't resist but to laugh... and the thing is she walked up and down passing by our tables... kinda distracting.. Oh man the stuff there looked stress. Many a times we tend to forget who are the ones who serve us with the food... we tend to forget the hardship and commitment they put into their work just to make the customers' life better. As I was sitting there I observed them, no one was slacking; everyone was really hardworking... they walked up and down non stop without resting, clearing plates and serving food and stuff... It's not sympathy, it's something which everyone will miss out (this is what I call 'small' things') due to our hectic lifestyles and the bo chup attitudes. Sometimes I wonder should I really be greatful to all these people, because they work so really hard just to satisfy us the customers. However the ultimate motive was to earn money, to lead a better life by slogging through the days... They work for the sake of money.. Sometimes it's hard to express ones feelings even though he feels that way... I've tried my best.. Rambled by kaSh at 11:48 pm I have nothing to say. What I wanna say I've said. What I wanna do I've tried. I don't know what to do anymore. There's nothing left inside me. Rambled by kaSh at 1:05 am Fuck prom. Fuck math, chem and physics. Fuck A levels. Fuck my life. Fuck the weather. Fuck you. Rambled by kaSh at 2:11 pm I either get drunk so that I can sleep or I cry myself to sleep.... and wake up at such a fucked up time. Rambled by kaSh at 4:41 am I am stressed. Feeling stressed, down.. there is fear, there is hatred in me. There is somewhat something's lost in me. Someone's taking 'something' from me. I know, it isn't that something, it doesn't belong to me, past, present, future, never was and will it be. Something has crawled into my heart, like a thousand knives pierced deep into the centre of it. The pain is unbearable, the feeling is inadmissible, it is as if a thousand sharks, a thousand worms, a thousand insects scavaging the walls my heart, vanishing my heart slowly. The feeling of pain, the feeling torment, affliction don't seem to get over me, when everything I thought was all over, all down the drain, all sunk to the bottom of my heart... but it was not. It was not at all. It is still in there, every minute, every second I try not to give even the slightest thought of it, but I failed, I failed miserably... I do not like to put on a facade... to you, to everyone... I cannot take it anymore, the pain is just so unbearable, undeniable, unspoken... What was mentioned to be not deserved to be in suffering, in aggrevation, in torment, in sorrows? I still, eventually, back to the same old thing, feel the same. Felt the same as never before, for someone had not done to me over the past 2 decades, for something which I failed so terribly but I did not admit defeat, for someone who is too precious to be mentioned by mere words... It doesn't only depend on that. It is that. It is the whole of my life. Something which no one will understand, something which everyone will not be able to comprehand... The emotions, part of it, or rather, all of it, is something which you could never assimilate, never could you have ever gone through the obstacles, the unbeaten ones, ever. It takes time, some say, but time and tide wait for no man. How long will I be suffering in such agony? How long would it be before I could stand up and face this pathetic and relentless world again? Blame the world. Blame the weather. Blame everything but yourself, but the only soul which is trapped within the body, the mind controls it... but it somehow go overtaken by the detrimental emotions... The mind isn't at work anymore.. anyways... Only the "one" could salvage this inexorable suffering. The words, the actions, the every tiny bit of information drawn, the every single step taken means alot to someone in this world. A butterfly flapped it's wing which caused a hurricane, a small step taken which caused a storm in the heart, a vindictive spasm which no man could ever undergo.. Needless to say, the feelings still carry, still continues. No one will ever know what had transformed me into someone like this, no one will ever understand.. comprehand the motives and reasons behind each 'justified' actions done, each tear dropped, each step taken... to suit the best of someone, to make this apathetic world a slightly better place to live in... with or without you I know, eventually life goes on... the world will not stop for my grief, for my suffering, for my pain... the world will go on, even if I die, it will still revolve around for the next 3 billion years, what is 1 day wasted by the world compared and sympathized to it? It's not the A levels. Rambled by kaSh at 7:34 pm Fel's right. I shouldn't be like that. Thanks Fel. You are one of the few who really understands me... yeah. I am so not studying. Wanted to mug for biochem but in the end I played Rome: Total War. Cool game! Cool graphics with real life battles woohoo. Anyways Chemistry Paper 3's just 4 sections: Physical, Inorganic, Organic and Biochem. Sounds easy? Try the paper then! Wish me luck! Rambled by kaSh at 8:48 pm How I wish I can be so relaxed and carefree like you all. Oh well here are the top 10 items that I will be doing after my stupid and screwed up A levels which, after 18 days, I will not need to care anymore. 10. Play badminton every day. (I am mad yeah. Not everyday of course, every other day). 9. Burn all my A level notes. (though it costs a bomb. Imagine you giving the treasurer 20 cents 1 day for 1 subject. *wink at Hoong*). 8. Da DRUMS. In the process of learning. 7. Jam like nobody's business. (Terrence, Fabian, Kenny and Peter lol.) 6. NOT going to stay at home. 5. Earn hell lotsa money before I go into camp. 4. Chiong all online games. Mug for gaming sessions now. 3. Marry Isabelle. (*stares at June Yong* since you say you want Eleanor then I'll take Bell then hehehe) 2. Go to Tao Payoh Interchange. Last but not least................ 1. Cycle to as many places as possible. Ok there are some things which must be done with effect from after the A levels like getting my prom clothes which apparently I still DO NOT know what to wear and what are the colours and this and that and yeah I aren't sure and I have only ONE week to shop for it and WHO THE HELL IS GOING WITH ME? Must I suit my date for this one? Hmm... Rambled by kaSh at 1:16 am It's all me. Have I not explained clearly my actions and such already? You were always the one who thinks otherwise. You were always the one who sad you don't care. You were always the one who won't wanna explain everything. You were always the one who always leave me in doubt. And I am always the one who give in. I am always the one who explains everything and to say it's not what you thought. I am always the one who needs to endure all your harsh words. I am always the one who cried through my sleep. I am always the one who got hurt the most. Why can't you just spare a thought? Please? Not for me, but for this whole pathetic planet. Haiz.. I really don't know what to say. I thought it was all over. I didn't wanna start another childish fight which would lead to nowhere again. I didn't wanna go quarrel with you and such. I asked outta concern and you said I am possessive? Have I not done the same to others too? You claimed you don't care, and that's the prob. Why didn't the others mention a thing? Is it not they wanna suffer in agony and silence? I don't really think so. I don't feel anything wrong but I still compromise. Is there a need to do that? No. But why? Because I cherish you very very much.... alot... Eventually, I still do not know why. Rambled by kaSh at 1:32 pm No terrorism! Argh! Luckily I've studied religion, so I just wrote that. F it. I hope I can make it. Really really really really hope I can. Finally some stress has been lifted off. argh. Chemistry p3 is next. Just 4 parts to the paper: Physical, Inorganic, Organic and Biochem. I wanna score for this, practical's screw up already. Hehehe. Went to the hospital. Visited Linda. Yeah do take care. Really crazy time to fall sick until like this. OMG man. You better take care and drink losta water (doubt she sees this). Please don't be stress beside me. I will be too. If you are like that I would rather not take the papers. You will feel better. I really think of that. I care. Please. I am worried. Wish me luck please. "It's just there. There." Rambled by kaSh at 7:08 pm GP's tomorrow and apparently I did not study anything at all. Well read through some of the essay outlines. Oh man. I am so scared. PLEASE WISH ME LUCK THANKS! Rambled by kaSh at 10:53 pm I think I am suffering from depression. Rambled by kaSh at 1:41 am "Think life as a happiness and you will be happy." I wanna change my thinking. I cannot always live in lala land. I wanna get out and step down on Earth, to face facts. Facts, reality, truth... they all govern our way of life. Untruth and all the lies are just obstacles for us to conquer. I cannot fail. I wanna stand up. GODDAMNIT I HAVE BEEN TELLING MYSELF THAT ALL DAY LONG. AND STILL I AM LIKE THAT. Rambled by kaSh at 11:43 pm |
My friends #verythin Zeqi Hsi En Mitchell Natasha Qiu Hui Chewy Hui Qi Ginger Belinda Shu Ting Leon Zhi Wei Lewis Valerie Xinmin Isabelle June Yong Benjamin Jiun Pey Aik Meng Wan Ling Hui Ling Clara Jolene Li Hui Ah Zai Yin Jie Lee Shyuan Wei Luo Way Chin Hui Ying Yani Mary Roddy Yen Wei Leanne Isaac Cheng Chong Chun Pei Mel Shi Rui Bert Shu Hao Michelle Eunice | ||||||
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