Name: Alvin
Age: 20
School: none
Education: none
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I woke up at 9. It was a boring morning. Mum made 2 eggs for me. She said today was the day which my both English and Chinese birthday fell on the same day. So I had 2 eggs instead of one. I played a bit of Maple Story and went back to sleep at 12. Sad life.
I woke up at around 1, realising I was late already! I prepared quickly and rushed down to TPJC to meet Fel for lunch at TM. At first she wanted to eat Gelare and not lunch, but I was really hungry and insisted on eating something first before the ice cream. She dragged me to Gelare and I told her if we could eat something first, then come back to Gelare to eat. Haha, she had not choice but to oblige the birthday boy. So we went to Breeks and had our lunch. Fel initially didn't want to eat but she eaten something anyways, which made her feel so full that she didn't want a taste of Gelare ice cream anymore. I see her back to school, she had something on.
I went home, with no plans or whatsoever after that. So I decided to talk to CX to see if our dinner was still on. Well it was. I confirmed with Lewis and we planned to meet at 6 at TM. As usual, everyone was late. I met up with CX, QH and Calista, then they handed me this shirt, Ferrero Roche and a lovely card with words which they've written down. It was really nice, I really like them really really much. Then Chuay Chun came along.
We settled down at Genki sushi and ate alot of things, lotsa plates were cleared before Lewis came. Jiun Pey came too! My mei! I was so touched! They both gave me 2 magazines with a calender in it. Haha, FHM and New Man.
We planned to watch a movie after that. Elektra. To those who are wanting to watch the show, my suggestion is, better not. I was the one who suggested and oh well sorta disappointed them. Oh man...
We sent the girls to the interchange and decided to have supper since it was quite early somehow or rather. We went to 201 for prata and bandung, talked a whole lot of crap, ranging from badminton stuff, school, sports and everything... the night wasn't over yet. We went to 7-11 to check out the alcohol and it was stated that alcohol cannot be purchased after 12 midnight. Goddamnit. We were so close to that. We ate ice cream instead, and talked more shiet.
Finally it was time to go home. Parted our ways, CC took a cab and I walked home. Lewis and CX headed in the other direction.
To CX: Thanks man for accompanying me, LOL.
To QH: Hey really thanks for going to the movie although I know you have a test the day after. I really appreciate your thoughts.
To Calista: Thanks for your time at Genki even though you have driving lessons after that, despite having to rush down for it, you still took your time to come down to eat with me.
To CC: Ya you stayed at Parkway. But despite the fact you still had supper with use until 1 am in the morning. Really appreciate your thought.
To Lewis: Thanks for rushing down after your work for sushi, movie and supper, despite being so damn tired after a whole day of calls taking and such. Thanks man.
To my mei, Jiun Pey: I was really touched when you came down. Little did I know that the few people who took all the trouble and time to celebrate my birthday, one of them was you. I really appreciate your thought, especially when you agreed to watch a movie with us. My treat to you ok? Haha
To everyone: Thanks for the shirt, the chocolates (you guys know my favourite!), the lovely card, the magazines and the calender. Thanks for your time with me!
Last but not least...:
To Felicia: Despite your tight and busy schedule, you managed to take some time off to have a simple lunch with me. I really appreciate that thought of yours, I am really thankful to you. I am really sorry for not being able to grant you your wish for having ice cream at Gelare, I promise we will be going there more often in the future. Thank you for, despite having guitar lessons in the late afternoon, you took the time to celebrate my birthday with me, though just a short period of time, I really cherish it very much. You are still the best of the best man.
I thought my birthday this year was a no life one. No, it wasn't. Although it was just a simple lunch, dinner, supper, movie and talk cock session, I could sense the effort my friends gave to me just to celebrate my birthday with me, for the person who I expected most to be with me today, was here, though not long, but it was enough.. for the people who have been with me on my birthday every year, were here today, and for the people who I THOUGHT they didn't care, they turned up... I really appreciate this guys... Thank you for everything...
Happy 19th birthday to me.
Rambled by kaSh at 1:43 am
Twenty-forth January! OMG. Ok. Officially 19. Too bad. No plans for today. Saddest Birthday ever. =(
Rambled by kaSh at 1:16 am
I had a great time. Really nice time during the BBQ. Everyone I called turn up. Was really happy about it. The food, though alot, was cleared...
We played frisbee and waterbombs.. Everyone was running and bombing away. I had to sacrifice myself to stop the war. Hahaha
Thank you for those who had turned up. Thank you for once again, making this year's birthday a memoriable one.
I really had fun.
Too bad the person I expected most to turn up, wasn't there. =(
Rambled by kaSh at 2:13 pm
I absolutely love this.
This is better.
This is nice too.
Rambled by kaSh at 10:14 pm
The scar on my left forearm. Something which I will remember for life.
Rambled by kaSh at 11:23 am
Argh. Not that I didn't try, but I have tried almost everything and it won't work! They are going to blame me for not hitting some targets.. just because they don't see me work, doesn't mean I don't! That isn't the case. I have been training up my mental skills... of course I have been doing what I am suppose to do..
No progress so far. None. Maybe it's because of the ways I use I handle people. Maybe it's my fault. Oh man, I have to think what went wrong on me. Something's really wrong inside there. Yes.. something... I can sense it.
I find history very interesting, particular the histories of several figures and events that shaped the world today. The past is never meant to be forgotten and is to be learned. I am currently interested in the History of Christianity. I ain't a Christian, well what's the harm of finding out more information when you have absolutely nothing to do at home?
Anyone care to lend me a bible to read?
No I am not crazy, I mean it.
Rambled by kaSh at 11:08 am
If you think you are beaten, you are.
If you think you dare not, you don't
If you like to win, but you think you can't
Its almost certain you won't.
If you think you'll lose, you're lost
For out in the world we find,
Sucess begins with a fellow's will -
It's all in the state of mind.
If you think you are outclassed, you are,
You've got to think high to rise,
You've got to be sure of yourself before
You can even win a prize.
Life's battles don't always go
To the stronger or faster man,
But soon or late the man who wins,
Is the man who thinks he can!
Rambled by kaSh at 1:11 am
I'm trying to live on as life is.. Trying to find another alternative route to become what I wanna be, trying to think of ways and means to mend my heart, trying to forget about the past, live for the present and hope for the future. Some things just will not change no matter what happens.. Some things.. nature will always have her way of doing things such as this, God has His obstacles constructed for us...
Have you ever heard of the sounds of the shattering of a heart? No, of course not.. for it can never be heard... that's the reason why we feel twice as bad as something we can hear and feel as well. It isn't similar to that of a glass shattering, nor it is to a cup breaking. Something which everyone of us know how it feels, but can never comprehand it's sound, thus it's converted back to the feeling, the feeling called hurt, the feeling call pain...
What's something felt at the interior compared to something felt at the exterior? Something different is the method you are going to treat it. Pain, something which can be felt both inside and outside. Something which you can speed up it's recovery by applying stuff when it occurs at the outside. Too bad, we cannot do the same thing which it's felt in the inside. We just have to let time heal it, let it pass... How is it going to feel when the same concept is applied to something felt pain at the outside? Unbearable...
My heart shatters. I feel the antagonizing pain in my heart. Something which everyone has gone through and never want it to happen again. The feeling of getting up one day realising you are suddenly lost because someone so important in your life was lost, gone away from your life, and you realise that she will never be back again, no matter what it takes for you, stretching out even your voice across the ocean, thinking and cherishing the past which was something sweet, memoriable and something which was deserved to be remembered, but never again someone like her will be back.. never again it will be repeated... never again you'll lead the same lifestyle.. never again something miraculous will happen... never again she will say she will be back... never again it was temporary depature...
I don't wanna say life goes on again.. it has been appearing from my mouth. Whenever I think of this, that's how I feel. It cannot be helped. The thought of it cannot be vanished. I cannot possibly neglect someone in a matter of days when I've let in tonnes of effort for the past year. Something which of course it's possible, I thought so, I am trying... trying to endure the process of mental torment, the process which really shapes me to someone I will be like never before, a major change which not only I will experience... because of this, I am determined to be stronger, but everytime I was held back by the thought of it. I am inferior, inferior to everyone, my confidence was diminished and destroyed, my faith disappeared... I myself have become a coward....
Just because of the wonderful thoughts, the sweet fruits I've enjoyed, the fall will be great and major... Enjoy now and suffer later will not be in my dictionary anymore.
How am I suppose to move on, to move on that part of my life? Someone please help me.
Rambled by kaSh at 10:48 am
One day Mother Nature got fed up, created a small mess on this planet near the island of Sumatra, Indonesia and ended the lives of 150,000 people. The numbers are still ticking. 150,000 people lost their hopes and dreams. They and Mother Nature became one.
Life is that unpredictable. That unpredictable. If one day you have only six months to live, and you've only just found out that in a matter of seconds, what will be your reaction? Regret? Depress? Why have I not done things which are supposed to? Why have I not fulfill my dreams, or rather, work towards my dreams, but to only wait for this moment, which only I have another six months or even less, to live?
I've decided to live life as there is no more tomorrow. What's the past, is the past. The only thing you can do about it is to learn from your mistakes. Whatever enjoyment you have done it, it is the past. You can NEVER get back to there, ever.
I just received a call from a buddy of mine, telling me that one of two of our colleagues strived all out just for an achievement, an incentive which ends every week. To my utmost surprise, this is something which never has anyone done it in the company before. Does it mean it cannot be done? No. Two ladies proved you wrong. I salute to them. They give me even more motivation to succeed. Clare and Fidia.
Who succeeds alone? Bill Gates had a team. Henry Ford had a team. What exactly is teamwork? Why is it so important? Because when everyone with different unique abilities come together, miracles happen. I cannot possibly succeed alone, but I can with people like you around, who are willing to trust me, who are willing to go all out with me, who are will to die with me.... that's what motivates me to go on further.
George Bush had 47% of the US population against him. But he is still the president and he is determined to work even harder. So what about me? 1 person in my whole life rejected me, does it mean I will fall?
Rejection = success.
What's one major failure compared to the thirst for success in the end?
What's one rejection compared to a few hundred who are willing to be there for you?
What is one year wasted doing something for you compared to 20 years wasted not doing anything?
Life goes on ultimately. I am hurt. I am DAMN DAMN hurt. My heart shattered like a thousand pieces, but I choose to move on. Nothing stops me. Only death.
Rambled by kaSh at 1:49 am
I don't know what to say. Something just happened to me and I am really down because of that. My heart aches like never before. Something which I longed for, I was done for. I lost it. Now. Maybe forever too.
Girl: I appreciate you reading my blog. Those are my views of life. My motivation arises because I think it is worth it to do for someone, and that someone is the drive for your success. In the past I was really pessimissitic. I had this bad temper of mine telling everyone to listen to me, telling them whatever I do, I was right. However no. If I wanna change someone else's thinking, I must first change mine.
Now yes I look at the bright side. Falls and rejections are only things which will drive you more. When you teacher tells you "you will never pass this exam because you are simply stupid!" How will you feel? Are you gonna give up because of his words? No. Because you wanna prove him wrong. You wanna prove him that you can do it and you work towards it.
Something happened to me recently. Suddenly it was all empty. I woke up early in the morning, finding myself in empty space. I feel completely lost, suddenly, no direction in life, nothing, no goals, no nothing... just me on the bed... thinking of the things which I had done wrong which caused me onto this state of confusion, state of sadness and depression: the motivation was gone.
Naturally I was down. I thought stupid things. Suicide? or something which I can attract her attention. No. These are things which ordinary people will do. But I will not. Why? Is it worth to die for someone who isn't even willing to spend the rest of her life with you? Is it worth it to die without considering your parents? Your friends? Your family?
I got drunk on that night. The next day I thought, what a stupid thing to do. Even if you got drunk a thousand times, she won't give a damn. Because no one will care if you are sad, if you are down, the world still spins around the sun.
My parents. My friends. They care. I move on cause they care. I may fall now, a major one... something which I've committed one whole year and lose it within a matter of hours, early hours in the morning... but mark my words, I will not give up, because setbacks only increases my thirst to success.
Because I have a dream, but my dream was shattered that morning. All gone. I still do not give up. Why? Because there are people who are willing to trust me, people who are willing to die for me, people who care for me. Why am I going down just because of someone I tried for 1 year? How about for the past 18 years, my parents gave no chance but only to nurture me, to bring me what I am now?
Give up everything for you? No. I won't even think of giving you up.
Rambled by kaSh at 11:20 am
Even if I fall, I will not give up. Because I know that success doesn't come easy. I will rise, and do it once again. Although the process is tiring, I have gone through once, I will go through another time to make sure that I will not fall again, to make sure I will succeed the next time round.
What if I fall again? Then I will stand up and restart everything. Then I will analyse what was wrong. Then I will put my words in action. Then I will prove to the people who once mocked at my failure, that it is possible, it is true that I will succeed.
But if I give up, my hopes, ambitions and dreams will vanish. They will be lost forever. They will not be achieved. I will be back to my usual lifestyle. I will one day regret, at a later stage of my life, why did I not stand up and try to fight back again. Because of the people around me, my parents who worked and slogged their days and years just for me, the friends who put trust on me, the people who give me the motivation, the person who I did all the crazy things for, the people who look down on me, I will not give up.
I will never give up just because of the slightest mistake committed which even though feels like a thousand knives stabbing through my heart.
I will never give up for the sake of myself, for the sake of my dreams, my big dreams.
I will never give up because in this world, although there are people who look down on you, but there are people who idolise you.
I will never give up because of you.
Rambled by kaSh at 4:56 pm
Life without you:
Wake up in the morning at 10, make myself a hot cup of coffee (because I've found out that I don't have any milo around the house).
Sit in front of the computer, checking for emails. Unfortunately, non was received.
Double click the MapleStory Icon, and start healing the undead monsters.
Tab and untab in and out of the game, only to find that I am dead once again.
Checked the time, OMG it's 4pm.
Go take a nap till 7pm.
Watch TV until 10pm.
Played Maple again.
THAT'S WHAT I CALL NO LIFE.
Life without you is totally different. I miss you.
Rambled by kaSh at 10:17 am
My New Year resolution.
2004 was a year full of ups and downs. To some of us it was a smooth journey but to most of us I am sure it was a tough one. My A levels. Studies. Stress. Natural disasters which struck unexpectedly. Things which happened and did not go according to plan.
A year which I've learnt alot of things, load of them. How to cope with a really important examination, how to handle people, how people will change, how to change for the better... many other things such as life is so fragile, never take things for granted, be glad that bad thing does not happen to you and so on..
Whatever it was, it was in the past. This is the year 2005. It is a brand new year for everyone.
I reflected what I've done during the year of 2004. Thinking about the people who disappointed me, who lied to me, who betrayed me, who backstabbed me. Thinking about the people who I disappointed, who I lied to, who I betrayed, who I put on a cold shoulder, things which I'd done which was not suppose to be.
That was all in the past. It is meant to be a lesson learnt, then to be forgotten. We all look forward to everything. This is a year which I am determined to change for the better. Besides the character of mine, a change in my income. Something which I must work really hard for. An improvement of myself.
Yes, resolutions are there to guide you along. What matters most is if you are determined to do so. If you keep thinking of succeeding and not doing, you will be there forever. You keep thinking for a few days, weeks or even years... but in the end, you are still what you are. If you do not make the change now, you will be stucked there. If you think that you can be a millionaire and not trying it, in the end you are still not a millionaire.
Don't give up. Remove the phrase "give up" from your dictionary. It is redundant. Successful people don't give up. It is your perseverence which determines your altitude in life. Action speaks louder than words. Think about it. Facing financial problems? Don't give up because you will someday earn your money back. Been failing exams? Don't give up and study hard for it will pay off someday.
"Where is my money?? Why no money? Wah sian no money today. I hope to earn lotsa money!"
The similarity between these few sentences are they are just trashtalking. It's the action that counts. If you want some money, go EARN it, not whine over it, for it will not appear in front of my magically when you only sit there for the whole day only to dream of it.
Even buying Toto, you still need to do something; and that's the shade the ovals.
To train yourself and tell yourself not to give up and endure, you must first train your mentality. That's one of my new year resolutions too. Think positively. It doesnt mean you are bankrupt today, you will be tomorrow... that's because you choose to do something different and you will eventually get out from your plight.
Think.. the ability to think separates human beings from animals. The reason we are divided into 3 different classes; Top, middle, bottom financial classes it's due to our ability to think. We fear of things which we thought. We thought of fear and that's the reason why people cannot get over the fear, or, they know the consequences of the action and eventually not wanting to try.
If your can overcome your fear and DARE to dream and dream BIG,
If you can afford to persevere, put your words into actions, your dreams into actions,
If you do not give up but to move on, but to constantly improve yourself,
You will achieve your dreams. Your big dreams.
- An improvement of my character
- Removing the phrase "give up" from my dictionary
- Think positively
- Do not fear of anything. You fall because of your fears
- Dream, and dream big.
Happy New Year to those who read this.
Rambled by kaSh at 4:42 am
I woke up at around 1, realising I was late already! I prepared quickly and rushed down to TPJC to meet Fel for lunch at TM. At first she wanted to eat Gelare and not lunch, but I was really hungry and insisted on eating something first before the ice cream. She dragged me to Gelare and I told her if we could eat something first, then come back to Gelare to eat. Haha, she had not choice but to oblige the birthday boy. So we went to Breeks and had our lunch. Fel initially didn't want to eat but she eaten something anyways, which made her feel so full that she didn't want a taste of Gelare ice cream anymore. I see her back to school, she had something on.
I went home, with no plans or whatsoever after that. So I decided to talk to CX to see if our dinner was still on. Well it was. I confirmed with Lewis and we planned to meet at 6 at TM. As usual, everyone was late. I met up with CX, QH and Calista, then they handed me this shirt, Ferrero Roche and a lovely card with words which they've written down. It was really nice, I really like them really really much. Then Chuay Chun came along.
We settled down at Genki sushi and ate alot of things, lotsa plates were cleared before Lewis came. Jiun Pey came too! My mei! I was so touched! They both gave me 2 magazines with a calender in it. Haha, FHM and New Man.
We planned to watch a movie after that. Elektra. To those who are wanting to watch the show, my suggestion is, better not. I was the one who suggested and oh well sorta disappointed them. Oh man...
We sent the girls to the interchange and decided to have supper since it was quite early somehow or rather. We went to 201 for prata and bandung, talked a whole lot of crap, ranging from badminton stuff, school, sports and everything... the night wasn't over yet. We went to 7-11 to check out the alcohol and it was stated that alcohol cannot be purchased after 12 midnight. Goddamnit. We were so close to that. We ate ice cream instead, and talked more shiet.
Finally it was time to go home. Parted our ways, CC took a cab and I walked home. Lewis and CX headed in the other direction.
To CX: Thanks man for accompanying me, LOL.
To QH: Hey really thanks for going to the movie although I know you have a test the day after. I really appreciate your thoughts.
To Calista: Thanks for your time at Genki even though you have driving lessons after that, despite having to rush down for it, you still took your time to come down to eat with me.
To CC: Ya you stayed at Parkway. But despite the fact you still had supper with use until 1 am in the morning. Really appreciate your thought.
To Lewis: Thanks for rushing down after your work for sushi, movie and supper, despite being so damn tired after a whole day of calls taking and such. Thanks man.
To my mei, Jiun Pey: I was really touched when you came down. Little did I know that the few people who took all the trouble and time to celebrate my birthday, one of them was you. I really appreciate your thought, especially when you agreed to watch a movie with us. My treat to you ok? Haha
To everyone: Thanks for the shirt, the chocolates (you guys know my favourite!), the lovely card, the magazines and the calender. Thanks for your time with me!
Last but not least...:
To Felicia: Despite your tight and busy schedule, you managed to take some time off to have a simple lunch with me. I really appreciate that thought of yours, I am really thankful to you. I am really sorry for not being able to grant you your wish for having ice cream at Gelare, I promise we will be going there more often in the future. Thank you for, despite having guitar lessons in the late afternoon, you took the time to celebrate my birthday with me, though just a short period of time, I really cherish it very much. You are still the best of the best man.
I thought my birthday this year was a no life one. No, it wasn't. Although it was just a simple lunch, dinner, supper, movie and talk cock session, I could sense the effort my friends gave to me just to celebrate my birthday with me, for the person who I expected most to be with me today, was here, though not long, but it was enough.. for the people who have been with me on my birthday every year, were here today, and for the people who I THOUGHT they didn't care, they turned up... I really appreciate this guys... Thank you for everything...
Happy 19th birthday to me.
Rambled by kaSh at 1:43 am
Twenty-forth January! OMG. Ok. Officially 19. Too bad. No plans for today. Saddest Birthday ever. =(
Rambled by kaSh at 1:16 am
I had a great time. Really nice time during the BBQ. Everyone I called turn up. Was really happy about it. The food, though alot, was cleared...
We played frisbee and waterbombs.. Everyone was running and bombing away. I had to sacrifice myself to stop the war. Hahaha
Thank you for those who had turned up. Thank you for once again, making this year's birthday a memoriable one.
I really had fun.
Too bad the person I expected most to turn up, wasn't there. =(
Rambled by kaSh at 2:13 pm
I absolutely love this.
This is better.
This is nice too.
Rambled by kaSh at 10:14 pm
The scar on my left forearm. Something which I will remember for life.
Rambled by kaSh at 11:23 am
Nothing interesting has happened to me for these few days... Slacked around at home, or at office, or outside... played some badminton, don't know what's my bicycle for, played a tune or two on the guitar...
Argh. Not that I didn't try, but I have tried almost everything and it won't work! They are going to blame me for not hitting some targets.. just because they don't see me work, doesn't mean I don't! That isn't the case. I have been training up my mental skills... of course I have been doing what I am suppose to do..
No progress so far. None. Maybe it's because of the ways I use I handle people. Maybe it's my fault. Oh man, I have to think what went wrong on me. Something's really wrong inside there. Yes.. something... I can sense it.
I find history very interesting, particular the histories of several figures and events that shaped the world today. The past is never meant to be forgotten and is to be learned. I am currently interested in the History of Christianity. I ain't a Christian, well what's the harm of finding out more information when you have absolutely nothing to do at home?
Anyone care to lend me a bible to read?
No I am not crazy, I mean it.
Rambled by kaSh at 11:08 am
If you think you are beaten, you are.
If you think you dare not, you don't
If you like to win, but you think you can't
Its almost certain you won't.
If you think you'll lose, you're lost
For out in the world we find,
Sucess begins with a fellow's will -
It's all in the state of mind.
If you think you are outclassed, you are,
You've got to think high to rise,
You've got to be sure of yourself before
You can even win a prize.
Life's battles don't always go
To the stronger or faster man,
But soon or late the man who wins,
Is the man who thinks he can!
Rambled by kaSh at 1:11 am
I'm trying to live on as life is.. Trying to find another alternative route to become what I wanna be, trying to think of ways and means to mend my heart, trying to forget about the past, live for the present and hope for the future. Some things just will not change no matter what happens.. Some things.. nature will always have her way of doing things such as this, God has His obstacles constructed for us...
Have you ever heard of the sounds of the shattering of a heart? No, of course not.. for it can never be heard... that's the reason why we feel twice as bad as something we can hear and feel as well. It isn't similar to that of a glass shattering, nor it is to a cup breaking. Something which everyone of us know how it feels, but can never comprehand it's sound, thus it's converted back to the feeling, the feeling called hurt, the feeling call pain...
What's something felt at the interior compared to something felt at the exterior? Something different is the method you are going to treat it. Pain, something which can be felt both inside and outside. Something which you can speed up it's recovery by applying stuff when it occurs at the outside. Too bad, we cannot do the same thing which it's felt in the inside. We just have to let time heal it, let it pass... How is it going to feel when the same concept is applied to something felt pain at the outside? Unbearable...
My heart shatters. I feel the antagonizing pain in my heart. Something which everyone has gone through and never want it to happen again. The feeling of getting up one day realising you are suddenly lost because someone so important in your life was lost, gone away from your life, and you realise that she will never be back again, no matter what it takes for you, stretching out even your voice across the ocean, thinking and cherishing the past which was something sweet, memoriable and something which was deserved to be remembered, but never again someone like her will be back.. never again it will be repeated... never again you'll lead the same lifestyle.. never again something miraculous will happen... never again she will say she will be back... never again it was temporary depature...
I don't wanna say life goes on again.. it has been appearing from my mouth. Whenever I think of this, that's how I feel. It cannot be helped. The thought of it cannot be vanished. I cannot possibly neglect someone in a matter of days when I've let in tonnes of effort for the past year. Something which of course it's possible, I thought so, I am trying... trying to endure the process of mental torment, the process which really shapes me to someone I will be like never before, a major change which not only I will experience... because of this, I am determined to be stronger, but everytime I was held back by the thought of it. I am inferior, inferior to everyone, my confidence was diminished and destroyed, my faith disappeared... I myself have become a coward....
Just because of the wonderful thoughts, the sweet fruits I've enjoyed, the fall will be great and major... Enjoy now and suffer later will not be in my dictionary anymore.
How am I suppose to move on, to move on that part of my life? Someone please help me.
Rambled by kaSh at 10:48 am
One day Mother Nature got fed up, created a small mess on this planet near the island of Sumatra, Indonesia and ended the lives of 150,000 people. The numbers are still ticking. 150,000 people lost their hopes and dreams. They and Mother Nature became one.
Life is that unpredictable. That unpredictable. If one day you have only six months to live, and you've only just found out that in a matter of seconds, what will be your reaction? Regret? Depress? Why have I not done things which are supposed to? Why have I not fulfill my dreams, or rather, work towards my dreams, but to only wait for this moment, which only I have another six months or even less, to live?
I've decided to live life as there is no more tomorrow. What's the past, is the past. The only thing you can do about it is to learn from your mistakes. Whatever enjoyment you have done it, it is the past. You can NEVER get back to there, ever.
I just received a call from a buddy of mine, telling me that one of two of our colleagues strived all out just for an achievement, an incentive which ends every week. To my utmost surprise, this is something which never has anyone done it in the company before. Does it mean it cannot be done? No. Two ladies proved you wrong. I salute to them. They give me even more motivation to succeed. Clare and Fidia.
Who succeeds alone? Bill Gates had a team. Henry Ford had a team. What exactly is teamwork? Why is it so important? Because when everyone with different unique abilities come together, miracles happen. I cannot possibly succeed alone, but I can with people like you around, who are willing to trust me, who are willing to go all out with me, who are will to die with me.... that's what motivates me to go on further.
George Bush had 47% of the US population against him. But he is still the president and he is determined to work even harder. So what about me? 1 person in my whole life rejected me, does it mean I will fall?
Rejection = success.
What's one major failure compared to the thirst for success in the end?
What's one rejection compared to a few hundred who are willing to be there for you?
What is one year wasted doing something for you compared to 20 years wasted not doing anything?
Life goes on ultimately. I am hurt. I am DAMN DAMN hurt. My heart shattered like a thousand pieces, but I choose to move on. Nothing stops me. Only death.
Rambled by kaSh at 1:49 am
I don't know what to say. Something just happened to me and I am really down because of that. My heart aches like never before. Something which I longed for, I was done for. I lost it. Now. Maybe forever too.
Girl: I appreciate you reading my blog. Those are my views of life. My motivation arises because I think it is worth it to do for someone, and that someone is the drive for your success. In the past I was really pessimissitic. I had this bad temper of mine telling everyone to listen to me, telling them whatever I do, I was right. However no. If I wanna change someone else's thinking, I must first change mine.
Now yes I look at the bright side. Falls and rejections are only things which will drive you more. When you teacher tells you "you will never pass this exam because you are simply stupid!" How will you feel? Are you gonna give up because of his words? No. Because you wanna prove him wrong. You wanna prove him that you can do it and you work towards it.
Something happened to me recently. Suddenly it was all empty. I woke up early in the morning, finding myself in empty space. I feel completely lost, suddenly, no direction in life, nothing, no goals, no nothing... just me on the bed... thinking of the things which I had done wrong which caused me onto this state of confusion, state of sadness and depression: the motivation was gone.
Naturally I was down. I thought stupid things. Suicide? or something which I can attract her attention. No. These are things which ordinary people will do. But I will not. Why? Is it worth to die for someone who isn't even willing to spend the rest of her life with you? Is it worth it to die without considering your parents? Your friends? Your family?
I got drunk on that night. The next day I thought, what a stupid thing to do. Even if you got drunk a thousand times, she won't give a damn. Because no one will care if you are sad, if you are down, the world still spins around the sun.
My parents. My friends. They care. I move on cause they care. I may fall now, a major one... something which I've committed one whole year and lose it within a matter of hours, early hours in the morning... but mark my words, I will not give up, because setbacks only increases my thirst to success.
Because I have a dream, but my dream was shattered that morning. All gone. I still do not give up. Why? Because there are people who are willing to trust me, people who are willing to die for me, people who care for me. Why am I going down just because of someone I tried for 1 year? How about for the past 18 years, my parents gave no chance but only to nurture me, to bring me what I am now?
Give up everything for you? No. I won't even think of giving you up.
Rambled by kaSh at 11:20 am
Even if I fall, I will not give up. Because I know that success doesn't come easy. I will rise, and do it once again. Although the process is tiring, I have gone through once, I will go through another time to make sure that I will not fall again, to make sure I will succeed the next time round.
What if I fall again? Then I will stand up and restart everything. Then I will analyse what was wrong. Then I will put my words in action. Then I will prove to the people who once mocked at my failure, that it is possible, it is true that I will succeed.
But if I give up, my hopes, ambitions and dreams will vanish. They will be lost forever. They will not be achieved. I will be back to my usual lifestyle. I will one day regret, at a later stage of my life, why did I not stand up and try to fight back again. Because of the people around me, my parents who worked and slogged their days and years just for me, the friends who put trust on me, the people who give me the motivation, the person who I did all the crazy things for, the people who look down on me, I will not give up.
I will never give up just because of the slightest mistake committed which even though feels like a thousand knives stabbing through my heart.
I will never give up for the sake of myself, for the sake of my dreams, my big dreams.
I will never give up because in this world, although there are people who look down on you, but there are people who idolise you.
I will never give up because of you.
Rambled by kaSh at 4:56 pm
What's life without you?
Life without you:
Wake up in the morning at 10, make myself a hot cup of coffee (because I've found out that I don't have any milo around the house).
Sit in front of the computer, checking for emails. Unfortunately, non was received.
Double click the MapleStory Icon, and start healing the undead monsters.
Tab and untab in and out of the game, only to find that I am dead once again.
Checked the time, OMG it's 4pm.
Go take a nap till 7pm.
Watch TV until 10pm.
Played Maple again.
THAT'S WHAT I CALL NO LIFE.
Life without you is totally different. I miss you.
Rambled by kaSh at 10:17 am
My New Year resolution.
2004 was a year full of ups and downs. To some of us it was a smooth journey but to most of us I am sure it was a tough one. My A levels. Studies. Stress. Natural disasters which struck unexpectedly. Things which happened and did not go according to plan.
A year which I've learnt alot of things, load of them. How to cope with a really important examination, how to handle people, how people will change, how to change for the better... many other things such as life is so fragile, never take things for granted, be glad that bad thing does not happen to you and so on..
Whatever it was, it was in the past. This is the year 2005. It is a brand new year for everyone.
I reflected what I've done during the year of 2004. Thinking about the people who disappointed me, who lied to me, who betrayed me, who backstabbed me. Thinking about the people who I disappointed, who I lied to, who I betrayed, who I put on a cold shoulder, things which I'd done which was not suppose to be.
That was all in the past. It is meant to be a lesson learnt, then to be forgotten. We all look forward to everything. This is a year which I am determined to change for the better. Besides the character of mine, a change in my income. Something which I must work really hard for. An improvement of myself.
Yes, resolutions are there to guide you along. What matters most is if you are determined to do so. If you keep thinking of succeeding and not doing, you will be there forever. You keep thinking for a few days, weeks or even years... but in the end, you are still what you are. If you do not make the change now, you will be stucked there. If you think that you can be a millionaire and not trying it, in the end you are still not a millionaire.
Don't give up. Remove the phrase "give up" from your dictionary. It is redundant. Successful people don't give up. It is your perseverence which determines your altitude in life. Action speaks louder than words. Think about it. Facing financial problems? Don't give up because you will someday earn your money back. Been failing exams? Don't give up and study hard for it will pay off someday.
"Where is my money?? Why no money? Wah sian no money today. I hope to earn lotsa money!"
The similarity between these few sentences are they are just trashtalking. It's the action that counts. If you want some money, go EARN it, not whine over it, for it will not appear in front of my magically when you only sit there for the whole day only to dream of it.
Even buying Toto, you still need to do something; and that's the shade the ovals.
To train yourself and tell yourself not to give up and endure, you must first train your mentality. That's one of my new year resolutions too. Think positively. It doesnt mean you are bankrupt today, you will be tomorrow... that's because you choose to do something different and you will eventually get out from your plight.
Think.. the ability to think separates human beings from animals. The reason we are divided into 3 different classes; Top, middle, bottom financial classes it's due to our ability to think. We fear of things which we thought. We thought of fear and that's the reason why people cannot get over the fear, or, they know the consequences of the action and eventually not wanting to try.
If your can overcome your fear and DARE to dream and dream BIG,
If you can afford to persevere, put your words into actions, your dreams into actions,
If you do not give up but to move on, but to constantly improve yourself,
You will achieve your dreams. Your big dreams.
- An improvement of my character
- Removing the phrase "give up" from my dictionary
- Think positively
- Do not fear of anything. You fall because of your fears
- Dream, and dream big.
Happy New Year to those who read this.
Rambled by kaSh at 4:42 am
My friends
#verythin
Zeqi
Hsi En
Mitchell
Natasha
Qiu Hui Chewy
Hui Qi
Ginger
Belinda
Shu Ting
Leon
Zhi Wei
Lewis
Valerie
Xinmin
Isabelle
June Yong
Benjamin
Jiun Pey
Aik Meng
Wan Ling
Hui Ling
Clara
Jolene
Li Hui Ah Zai
Yin Jie
Lee Shyuan
Wei Luo
Way Chin
Hui Ying
Yani
Mary
Roddy
Yen Wei
Leanne
Isaac
Cheng Chong
Chun Pei
Mel
Shi Rui
Bert Shu Hao
Michelle
Eunice